Skinny Love

Chapter 12

Francesca was too much to handle. Oh my, she was just so much to handle. So why was I falling for her like this? It was ridiculous. I had to be crazy. This girl, the one that I'd met on a random night after school, the one who wouldn't eat to save her life; and it could actually save her life, the one who was just as unstable as I was, was stealing my heart and making it hers. I don't know exactly when it happened but she was in, and so was I and from that point on there was no turning back.  

"Don't follow me Kye, you idiot." She'd said in the mist of another one of her fits. She had been storming away from me in the park not too far away from the hospital. I hadn't actually done anything wrong, she thought shed caught me looking at a girl who happened to be passing by. Okay I was looking at her but in my defense I thought I was in the clear. Obviously I hadn't been though and as soon as Fran caught wind of my gaze she was red faced and storming away. 

Biting back my laughter I followed her anyway. "Aw come on babe, I wasn't looking at her, promise." 

Whirling around she barely restrained from baring her teeth at me. "This is not funny!" 

And then she was off again. She'd been mad at me all day and I didn't even care. I thought it was adorable. She was so cute when she was mad and flustered. I couldn't even stay focused when she was crying. Everything about her attracted me at all times. 

Another day, I hadn't made it to the hospital in over a week, my schedule getting hectic at random points in the year. I'd actually told her that I wouldn't be able to make it to see her on the weekend either because Id be busy but feeling bad and honestly really wanting to see her I decided to forget my plans and pop in on her.

She must not have been expecting anyone or anything to happen that day because when I got there she was quite upset. She'd been leaning back against the headboard of her small hospital bed with her arms folded over her chest and tears streaming down her face. She refused to look at me no matter what and at the time I didn't mind much because I could just stare at her that way. Her sniffling sounds snapped me awake and somehow made me aware of her pain. I wanted to stop it but didn't know how. Rubbing her shoulders gently I whispered, "I'm sorry." 

She didn't say anything, she just continued to cry silently into herself. Still refusing to look at me. She was probably acting this way because no matter what she did or said it couldn't be helped. I still had responsibilities at school, I still had my dad to worry about, and I still had college admission hoopla crowding my time. She knew this and accepted it, but maybe sometimes she just needed me to be there.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" I asked continually trying to sooth her. The fact that she was this sad, and I had no idea why, was killing me. If I'd just been there the whole time, she probably wouldn't have been crying right then. 

No answer.

I sighed and rested my head on her back, wrapping my arms around her waist and giving her a squeeze. "Fine, I'll just wait. Is that okay." 

"No," She said, finally moving to wipe her tears. "I know what else you have planned today, so why don't you just go. I wasn't expecting to see you today, I'm sorry it turned out like this." 

"Well if you just talk to me I can make it better." I tried but she was far past me now, staring off into space and beginning to start a slow rhythmic rock with her body. 

She'd hardly noticed I was still there and when she did her eyes seemed to cut and her rocking stopped short. "Kye go. I don't want to be the reason for you being late." 

I wanted to tell her it'd be okay. Not just my meeting, but whatever it was that was troubling her, but she couldn't really hear me. That day she'd been lost, somewhere along her own thinking sadness had swallowed her up and even if I tried, I couldn't do anything about it.