The Beast

14

HAZEL

Ronan yanks his hoodie down. Then he turns around and approaches the window. He slams it shut and mutters, "If you try doing that again, I'll fucking tie you to the bed."

I glare at him, not fond of the threat. "I just wanted to see my mom."

He pulls his hoodie further down his face. "Damn it, Hazel. Look at what you did. Look at what you did!"

"What?" I snap back. "Looked at the skin under that hoodie? I'm still standing here, Ronan. I don't have much of a choice since I'm a captive, but I wouldn't have run at the sight of your face."

I saw his lips, nose, and cheeks. The dark veins running down one cheek. The cut on his top lip disrupts the pink color. His nose was undisturbed, but his other cheek had a burn-like texture. He still has a sharp jawline and plump lips. Still has a body like the chiseled statues in the garden. He is not a monster. Even if I hadn't exchanged such intimate moments with him, I would not see him as a monster.

"Stop talking about it," he snaps. His body tense with unspent anger.

"I'm not who you're angry at."

He barges forward, and I throw myself back so I'm lying on the bed. His hoodie covers his face, but not his vibrating anger as he sets his hands beside my head and his knees beside my hips. I'm caged by two hundred pounds of muscle, power, and testosterone.

I set a fist over my heart–a futile attempt to protect it from the man threatening to eat it. Ronan has captured it–even if only during a few moments when we kissed and touched. But he knows it's his. And right now, it's beating out of my chest for him.

"Yes, I'm fucking angry at you, Hazel. Look at the mess you're in. You should have come to me instead of attacking that guard."

His eyes fall to my lips, and that only makes him angrier. As if he doesn't want to be attracted.

"And give you more power than you have over me? I will be the master of my fate, even if that's by getting myself banished. I just wanted to say goodbye to my mom."

He shakes his head. "You think I can just let you go? After you got under my fucking skin?"

"I–" I'm at a loss of words. How does a woman reply to such an outlandish claim? Ronan and I are not suitable for each other. There are only secrets and lies between us, but he doesn't seem to give a damn. And why would he? He's the king of the estate who gets what he wants.

"You have no arguments against that? Of course, you don't. You want me too."

I hate my lips for staying sealed.

Hate my lips for parting when he lowers his face and kisses me. Hate them for kissing back. His hood covers my face. The only source of light I have now is the spark between us. The one that warms my belly, melting between my legs.

I moan into the kiss as his tongue wraps around mine. Why does it feel so natural? So easy?

Ronan pulls back and curses. He stands, palming his crotch and turning before I can get a look at it.

"I'll bring your mother to you," he says, his voice deeper than I've ever heard.

"And what happens after?" I dare to ask.

He shakes his head. "I will need to find an excuse for why you were skipping the wall. But it will not be taken well."

"What excuse?"

Still looking away from me and keeping his hand at his crotch, he says, "I will tell them you were completing an assignment for me outside the wall. But they'll doubt this because no one ever leaves the estate except for me. Besides, you are not trained as a guard. It wouldn't make sense to send you on a mission."

"Are there... are there other choices?"

He huffs. "Yes, but you won't like the answer."

I lick my lips. "What would you like in exchange for helping me?"

If it's a reasonable price, then I might consider it. I don't want to abandon my mom. It's not a preference. But if Ronan asks for too much–for my body–then I cannot pay. I cannot prostitute myself to amend for a mistake that I made. When I skipped that wall, I knew what I was getting into. I knew this day would come and that I would be banished. It was a small price to pay for everything I discovered, but not ideal because I would lose my home and family. But I knew I would never be at peace if I never explored the world.

"I ask for nothing," he replies, shocking me. "That's why this mess is so infuriating. It could have been avoided if you told me a guard was threatening you."

"He attacked my friend. I had no choice at the moment but to strike him down."

"And afterward?" he presses. "You should have found me."

I clench my fists. "I'm sorry for assuming you would ask something precious of me, Ronan."

He sighs. "The other option, other than the nonsense of you being sent on a mission by me, is telling them that you are the Missus of the estate who can go as she pleases."

It takes a minute for the words to register. "Missus of the estate?" I blurt. "You want me to pretend I'm your wife?!"

There's a long silence before he breaks it with, "it's not ideal. But how badly do you want to stay with your mother? The choice is yours."

I never thought I would be in this situation. His mistresses were worried about me becoming another mistress of Ronan's, but they thought too small. They never would have imagined that Ronan would propose to make me the missus of the estate.

"But... what would that entail? A ceremony?"

"No. Moving into my quarters and quitting your duties as a servant."

My mind processes a thousand thoughts a minute. "And would I have to..."

"Sleep with me? No, it is not a requirement. But based on that kiss, you will soon ask for it. And I might not be strong enough to deny you."

He's brutally honest. He's not blind to what burns between us.

I consider this madness. Consider the possibility of losing my mom forever. Ronan is being incredibly generous by helping me. I shouldn't have doubted him, but he tricked me about his identity, and that hurt still aches.

"I..." I run my hands through my hair. "Alright. I'll do it. I'll move into your quarters, and I'll pretend."