The Beast

34

HAZEL

I sigh and run my hands through my hair, struggling with my doubts.

My argument with Ronan was stupid. Insignificant.

I pace back and forth in front of a tall window overlooking the empty courtyard. This vast, beautiful estate promises us a future, but it has also homed our past. Ronan's past. I must accept every inch of this estate along with him. Because it's a part of him. And the women from his past are long gone.

One thing is for certain—Our future nursery won't be in the bedroom where he entertained his mistresses. But this isn't worth fighting over. Not a hill worth dying on.

Ronan has granted me power, and I'll use it wisely. Perhaps there are some things I don't need to consult him about. Maybe I need to be braver and become more comfortable making changes in the estate.

IWhy am I getting frustrated? Is it because of fear? Fear of how badly I want the future I envision?

It's too early for me to want motherhood, and Ronan's DNA is so altered that there's no telling how his offspring would be affected. I've never asked details about what those scientists pumped into him, but it definitely changed his biology. So many things are uncertain, but after watching him get shot and nearly die, I just want to get closer to him. To strengthen our bond within love.

Hearing footsteps approach, I spin and find Janice approaching me.

I lost track of time.

"Hey, Janice. Is Ronan beating his chest yet?" I smile. "I was just about to head back. Hopefully he's not too upset."

She gives me a rare smile. She usually seems so intimidated, but I know that she has served Ronan long enough to trust him.

"He's actually chirpier than usual."

I laugh at this. "Ronan? Chirpy? Did you put something in his food?"

She chuckles. "He has requested that you join him."

"Sure," I reply and smoothe my skirt.

I'm sure the big guy has suffered enough already. If there's one thing I know about Ronan, it's that he can't stay away for too long. It's one of the reasons he's so lovable. He makes me feel wanted. Offers me a tenderness I didn't think possible as I lived my repetitive life as a maid.

I am more now. I'm his.

I'm confused when Janice leads me outside, but I maintain a smile as I walk past servants. They don't meet my eyes.

I will never get used to their distance. It's lonely being put on a pedestal. Even Gwen walks on eggshells around me, although she's my dearest friend.

I'm not a blue-blooded princess even with all the freedoms Ronan grants me. I'm a servant that cleaned these halls thousands of times. Everyone seems to have forgotten this.

Janice leads me outside, and my shoulders unexpectedly tense. Last time I got this close to the gates, Ronan got shot and I was ripped away from him.

My eyes shift left to the wall, and my feet come to a halt when I spot Ronan sitting on a blanket. His hulking figure looks comical, so large that his outstretched legs don't fit on the blanket. He's wearing his hoodie and facing away from me. A basket and a bouquet of flowers lies beside him.

I approach and thank Janice for her time.

I find Ronan fussing with something on his lap.

I look over his shoulder and find his hands tangled in string and three bandaids on his fingers. A first aid kit lies open beside him.