Talk to Killua

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Gon POV

Kite made his way to Kurapika while I remained standing in the hallway. I walked through the corridor, determined to find Killua. I really needed to know why he had truly come on board. I know, I know, I should be happy that Killua is here, but he didn't seem happy. One could say he looked sad. Regardless, I wanted to find out. I searched every room but couldn't find him until a person walked past me.

"Excuse me," I said.

"What, little guy, got a problem?" the person replied rudely. He looked really strong, physically.

"Uh, no. Have you happened to see a boy with white hair, shorts, a white T-shirt, and a long blue T-shirt over it?" I asked.

"No, I haven't," he said, then walked away. I sighed in frustration and continued searching until I caught a whiff of Killua's scent. The smell led me to a door. He's probably in there. I stood in front of the door and knocked, but he didn't answer.

"Killua?" I called softly as I opened the door. Inside, I saw a sad Killua sitting on the floor, staring down.

"Killua?" I said slowly, kneeling in front of him.

"What do you want?" he replied.

"I just wanted to check if you're okay. I'm fine. Are you leaving now?" he said, still staring at the ground. I couldn't see his eyes because his hair covered them.

"Come on, Killua, what's wrong with you?" I said, now sitting down next to him. "I know you're still mad at me because of what happened in the Chimera Ant Palace, and it was all my fault. I don't know how to apologize because I know exactly how you feel."

"NO, YOU DON'T! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL, AND YOU NEVER WILL!" Killua screamed, hitting the wall and creating a small hole. I froze for a moment.

"You... you're right," I said softly. "I'm sorry, Killua. I don't understand, but I just want to help you," I said sadly.

Killua, I wanted to ask you something. Why are you on board now? I mean, you said it was a change of plans, but I can't believe that. When we parted ways, you said you wanted to travel with Alluka for a while, and well, you're suddenly here without Alluka. Did something happen to Alluka?" I asked him.

Killua was about to answer but still kept his gaze on the ground. "I-It doesn't matter," he replied.

"No, Killua, it does matter. What happened to her?" I pressed.

"You don't care," he said loudly.

"Come on, Killua, let me know," I said a bit louder.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER! YOU DON'T CARE!" he shouted.

"Killua, come on, let me know," I said, raising my voice. "IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU DON'T CARE!" he screamed.

"Killua, tell me. I want to know. I just want to help you, like a good friend," I yelled.

"I SAID IT DOESN'T MATTER! IF I CAN'T INTERFERE IN YOUR PROBLEMS, THEN YOU CAN'T INTERFERE IN MINE, DAMN IT!" he shouted back.

"KILLUA, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW ALLUKA IS DOING!" I shouted.

Killua glared at me with red eyes and started crying. "I CAN'T FIND ALLUKA, OKAY? SHE'S GONE. I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE SHE IS. ALL I KNOW IS THAT SHE'S IN THE DARK CONTINENT, AND EVERYTHING AROUND ME IS KEEPING ME FROM GETTING TO THE DARK CONTINENT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I JUST WANT TO TALK TO HER. SHE'S THE ONLY ONE ON MY SIDE, AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS JUST HOLDING ME BACK. SHE COULD BE DEAD, DAMN IT! MAYBE SHE'S ALREADY DEAD, AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF ME, BECAUSE I'M A SHITTY BROTHER!" he screamed, completely out of breath, and tears streamed down his face. "ALLUKA, I NEED HER. SHE'S ALL I HAVE. SHE'S THE ONLY ONE IN MY FAMILY I LIKE!" he cried out.

"Killua?" I said slowly, approaching him.

"And I just can't reach her. She's been there for so long, and I'm not even on the Continent," he said. I moved closer to Killua and hugged him. Killua resisted at first, but I knew that hugging him would calm him down a bit.

"Killua, I'm here, and I won't let you down again," I whispered into his ear.

Killua didn't say anything in response; he still seemed angry. I stopped hugging him, and Killua continued to stare angrily at the ground. I could see tears streaming down his face, staining his T-shirt.

I looked at Killua, and he didn't look any better; he didn't seem to feel any better either. "Killua, we can save your sister together. We're a team, aren't we?" I said softly.

"Gon, it's my responsibility, understand? It's my responsibility. I didn't want it to be a big deal where suddenly all my friends help me. I didn't even want you to help me. It's my responsibility to save Alluka. I will do everything I can to see her again, and nothing will stand in my way," Killua said, locking eyes with me. Suddenly, his pupils vanished.

"K-Killua, come on, you can't do this alone. I want to help you," I insisted.

"That's what I wanted, and you didn't allow me to help you when I wanted to," Killua said. His surroundings started to darken, and his aura grew darker too.

I couldn't say anything; I just felt guilty. If I hadn't said those words, if I hadn't said those words in the Chimera Ant Palace, would Killua not be so angry with me, I thought. I have no reason to be angry with Killua; he's the one who has every right to be angry with me because I started it.

I placed a hand on Killua's shoulder. "Killua, save your sister, okay? When we're in the Dark Continent, look for her. I won't stand in your way," I said.

Killua simply looked at me and then nodded slowly. Thankfully, I could see his pupils again.

"Thank you, Gon," he said slowly.

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