Evan 'Buck' Buckley oneshots

It wasn't your fault.

btw, Jacktranman giz me this idea so, thanks for that : D Instead of Buck going to therapy in the first seaon after losing Devon, he talks to Bobby and Athena

"NO, DEVON!" Buck squeezed his eyes shut.

Back at the fire house, Buck sat at the table, staring into his cup of coffee, the thoughts of the previous call clouding his memory. Why couldn't Devon just take his hand? Why did he let go? Why didn't he believe Buck when he said Devon would be safe? Why did he have to die?

Tears started to cloud his vision, as he heard Bobby and Athena walk up the stairs. He was too deep in thought to notice them trying to get his attention, noticing him zoning out. Buck was picking at his nails, his breathing picking up.

"Buck, baby you gotta take a deep breath." He just about heard Athena say, managing to shakily take a couple deep breaths. He looked up, looking them in the eyes as the finally note his watered eyes.

"Buck, buddy, what's wrong?" Asked Bobby as him and Athena sat either side of him. Buck tried to find the words but it just came out as cries. He didn't know why Devon's death bothered him so much. He felt like it was his fault but deep down he also knew it wasn't. It was also his first loss in the job since joining The 118. 

"D-Dev-" Was all he managed to get out before chocking on a sob, feeling Athena's arms wrap around him, Bobby's hand in his hair. They didn't say anything, just held him. They were patient with him. They didn't get annoyed that no one else reacted like this, they just held him as he cried. Buck wrapped his arms around Athena and buried his face into her neck, the tears he'd been trying to hold back finally he let them go. And they just held him.

Athena moved Buck's face out of her neck, holding him in her hands.

"Buck, you are going to listen to me, understood?" her voice was soft but also he knew she was not arguing. He nodded the best he could.

"Devon was not your fault. As much as your head might think it is, it isn't. He was paralysed by fear and you did everything you could've. He needed to believe in himself. That wasn't your job, he just didn't have enough time. None of thus is your fault. You didn't cause it. You didn't ask for it. You didn't try and stop preventing it. You tried and tried to make Devon believe that he could do it, but he just didn't have enough time to believe in himself. That isn't your fault, Buck." Athena spoke softly but firmly at the same time. Believing her fully  would take time, but since it was coming from a cop he considered a mother, he started to believe it wasn't his fault.

Bobby nodded, smiling softly at Buck as he pulled Buck into a hug.

"From someone who was watching the whole thing, you did all you could Buck. And don't pull the 'I should've done more' card, because you physically and mentally couldn't. You couldn't make the bar hold a couple seconds longer. You couldn't of convinced Devon any quicker. You couldn't do any more than you did, bud." 

Buck started to softly cry in the crook of Bobby's neck again, his arms holding Bobby close and Bobby's doing the same with Buck.

"It wasn't your fault." Bobby and Athena said at the same time as Buck nodded, smiling softly.

Maybe it wasn't his fault

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~DID Y'ALL SEE BUCK N TOMMY FUCKING KISS???

BUCK'S FINALLY A COMFIRMED BOY KISSER.

6. FUCKING. SEASONS. LATER.

IM SO HAPPY RN.

but anywho, sorry this is shit and short, currently 5 am and pulling an all nighter, might regret my life later 

636 words.