Potty Mouth

Beauty and the Sloppy Jalopy

I was not expecting quite a character to open my door.

After I had recovered from the conversation in the bathroom, I quickly got ready for the evening. I slipped on a blue long sleeve shirt and readied my multi colored scarf and creamy coat by the door. I couldn't look like I was rushing to go when he arrived!

I know that it's crazy to go hang out with a guy you met in the vent of your bathroom, but they were going to Olive Garden! Being in college puts you in a position where eating out only comes with dating and mooching off your friend's paycheck (and apparently mooching off of people you met through a vent). I had learned that the hard way after my first week when I had McDonalds, Burger King, and a number of other fast food places for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It was a fantastic week, but for the rest of the month I was living on peanut butter and bread.

However, after I had opened the door to let "Voice from the Bathroom" in, I had second thoughts about even going!

Leather jacket, gauged ears, five o'clock shadow, tattered blue jeans with white motor oil stained shirt combo; it was like I was staring at the most cliche biker man in history! He even had helmets! The one under his arm was black and shiny and the grey one with the red stripe was being handed to me. I must have stared at it then back at him for a long time because he just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Take the helmet." He instructed, holding out the helmet a little further. He had the same voice! The same calm voice that came from the vent! Don't ask me why, but I was extremely surprised. I took the helmet from him, looking at his face as I did. He looked very impish in a way, his chin and nose forming two points. He had big blue eyes that looked like ghosts circling his pupils.

"Good girl, Nebraska." He teased me, smiling a goofy grin, "Next time we'll learn how to blink!"

I noticed I was still staring and shook my head, "Oh... sorry!"

"Nah, don't worry about it, mormon girl." He chuckled, "I get it all the time. So you ready to go?"

"Uhm..." Now that I knew we were going on a motorcycle, I needed something else besides my creamy colored coat! It would've gotten all dirty if I had worn that! I sped into my room, searching my closet for something dark and warm. I heard a sudden squeal. I grabbed a light jacket from my closet and rushed back out to the front door. Sarah was there, her short straight hair bouncing as she hopped around in a circle. The guy looked amused, but terrified at the same time, taking a half-step away from my excited roommate.

"It's a boy!!!" Sarah enthused in her thick Texan accent, "You have a boy over! Nebraska, I'm so proud of ya! You're coming out of your shell! Yay!"

"Sarah! I thought you still had work!" I stammered, one arm in the jacket while I let it dangle on me.

"I quit that job." She beamed at me, "McD's is just to sticky and gross!"

"That's what you--!" I took a deep breath, "Alright, that's fine. You'll go job searching tomorrow, right?"

"'Course!" Sarah said cheerily, hugging me and kissing me on the cheek. I still had yet to teach her about personal space... "And make sure, when ya come back, you tell me every juicy little detail about your date!" ... and keeping out of other's personal life.

"It's not a date. We're just going to Olive Garden." I corrected, putting my other arm through the sleeve of my jacket and pushing her away. I grabbed my scarf and put the helmet under my arm as I walked out the door.

"Uh-huh! Keep tellin' yourself that, hon!" Sarah smiled as she walked into her bedroom. I shut the door and looked up at "Bathroom Voice". I could tell he was trying not to smile.