OBSESSION WINS. (A Min Yoongi Fanfic)

part 19[Attempt suicide]

I was in my room for the whole day.strange things keep coming in my mind and i just couldn't take them out of it.i was remembering all the things from my childhood to now.what happened because of me since i was a child.i didn't ate anything.and i was not hungry at all. i was traumatized from yesterday's incident at bighit and all i can hear in my head is ''you are not worth it to this world.you almost kill your bestfriend that's why she leave you.she leave because of your own fault.yout parents died because of you you are such a shame on your family and close ones.you don't care about anything you just care about yourself.you married yoongi, kidnapped his mom knowing that he will hate you if you'll do this.you are nothing but just a obsessive bitch you really don't care about anyone's feelings.you should die no one loves you.they are tired of you they wanna get rid of you just end yourself.go to kitchen take a knife and slowly use it on your wrist.come on get up you lazy girl.'

It's the second time i am hearing things in my head after my mom dad passed away.that time i was traumatized and so was dae we both lost our parents at the same time we lost our mom and dad .he was traumatized and didn't talk to me after one week we finally had a huge fight and he tell me everything he was thinking at that moment.
"You are selfish if only you didn't force dad that you want a fucking bike they could still be here with us!"
"It was not because of my bike!they had an accident dae ! can't you see?"i said tears in my eyes .
"Hey you two please don't fight uncle and aunty will not like this.they want you both to take care of each other.blaming her will not do anything dae!"Kyung mi said stepping between us.she was so sweet to me since our parents died.matbe because she thought that I'll hurt myself.
"She knows her obsession is always leads to bad things still she had to force them to buy her a bike knowing that it was late at night and this time big car's and trucks goes out!"
"I am sorry dae!but my parents didn't died because of me please don't blame me for a thing i will never be able to take out of my mind"i said crying now.
"You killed my parents!"he said crying too.
I went near him and hold his arms and looked at him while crying.
"Please d-dae*sob*i-i di-didnt kill mom and dad*sob loudly*"and suddenly all of it turned black............

Soon after 5 months......
I feel movements around myself but i was not able to move.where am i?am i dead?where is mom and dad then?dae?how is he?i wanted to scream but couldn't.

"Always remember to work hard and always remember that i love you......."
"D-dad........."

"Remember what i always says to you that if you love someone you have to do efforts and if you love someone who doesn't love you back do efforts till that someone started yo do efforts for you as well.love is all about efforts.The more efforts you do the more it shows how much you love that person."

"I am always with you my child ".........

I suddenly woke up.
"Oh ms you are awake.let me check you."
She then checked me and then went outside and soon dae came inside with tears in his eyes .
"D-dae...i didn't -"
He hugged me tightly and started crying.
"I know i know my sister don't tell me anything.i am sorry i was just traumatized at that time because of mom and dad's sudden death.
I started crying too.
"I-i am sorryyyy unnghnn"*sobbing hard*
"I am sorry dae i am sorry I am sorry"
I keep saying that and he console me.after sometime i stopped crying.
He was sitting beside my bed on a chair and was holding my hand.
"I thought I lost you as well"he suddenly said.
I just smiled at him "i am okey and alive infront of you"
"I know thank god"
"Hmm"
"You know what?"he said.
"Huh?"
"It's a secret don't tell anyone okey it's our promise?"he said holding his pinky finger up.
"Okey?"i said getting confused.
"I love haewon"he said getting all red and i squeal in happiness.
"Whatttt?why you didn't told me before stupid "
"Why he didn't told you before "and in came haewon and kyung mi.
"He said he lo-"he blocked my mouth with his hand.
"Ahh no no nothing nothing just some stupid joke"he said laughing nervously.
I side eyed him and he glare at me.and with that started our tom and jerry show all day.