The Shadows of Trinity

Find Yourself

Wilhelm Hartmann was sitting on his sleeping bag gazing at the book he held in his hands. The texture of the book cover was rough on his hands. Tears slowly streamed down his face falling onto the cover of the book.

Wilhelm thought to himself out of guilt. "I don't know what to do. What can I do? I can't tell her the truth about who I am. At least not yet."

He heard a soft rustling of footsteps outside. Quickly wiping his tears away he looked up and saw Koralin entering his tent. Koralin stared into Wilhelm's eyes noticing unshed tears in them. Sitting down in front of Wilhelm she looked at him with slight concern. Wilhelm averted his gaze slightly and placed the book down beside him.

"What's wrong Mr. Hartmann?" she asked with concern.

"I'm going through a lot Miss Assing. It's hard for me to explain what I'm going through to you," he replied while trying not to cry.

Koralin shuffled closer to Wilhelm and wrapped her arms around him. Wilhelm held back his tears and lowered his head onto Koralins shoulder.

"I do wish that I could tell you, Miss Assing. But it is very difficult for me to explain,"

"I understand Mr. Hartmann,"

"I'm missing my brother, my wife and my children.
"I left them behind all so I could get away from the Soviets.
"I don't know if they are alright..."

"I'm sure that they are alright Mr. Hartmann,"

Tears flowed out of Wilhelm's eyes, and he sobbed softly. Koralin gently rubbed Wilhelm's back to attempt to comfort him. Eventually, Wilhelm stopped sobbing, and Koralin let go of him and wiped his tears away gently.

"You seem to possibly be dealing with a lot more than just missing your family,"

"I'm afraid of what might happen to my brother.
"He is still inside East Berlin. He refused to leave with me.
"I don't know what the Soviets would do to a former Nazi scientist,"

"I understand that you are worried about him. You love and care about him a lot,"

"What if they kill him!?"

"Mr. Hartmann I'm sure that your brother is safe. He seems smart and he might have escaped like you did,"

Wilhelm whimpered softly and he wrapped his arms around Koralin and held her in a gentle embrace.

"I have to go now, Mr. Hartmann. But I'm sure that your brother is safe wherever he may be," she said while getting up off the ground.

Koralin exited the tent leaving Wilhelm alone. Wilhelm placed his hands over his eyes and dragged his legs closer to the rest of his body. More tears flowed out of his eyes as if he was trying to let out some of the guilt that was bottled up inside. His shoulders shook with quiet sobs. Eventually, he stopped sobbing and removed his hands from his eyes. His vision was blurry and his eyes were warm and red. His throat felt scratchy like sandpaper. Blinking a few times he managed to focus his vision.

Grabbing his fishing rod he got up off the ground although his limbs felt heavy as if they were being weighed down by invisible weights. Exiting his tent he gazed up at the overcast sky which reminded him of how lost he felt as if he was stuck in the clouds himself unsure where to go. Gazing down at the town he began to make his way to the wharf. Walking down the busy streets of Emden he lowered his gaze slightly trying to ignore the people who walked by him trying to feel as if he didn't exist.

Reaching the wharf he wandered close to the edge and gazed out at the ocean. Multiple small sailboats rode over the small waves. Wilhelm's coat gently flowed in the chilly ocean breeze. Casting his fishing line out into the vast ocean he patiently waited for a bite.