↱ECHO↲ ⇾seongjoong⇽

第十八

Seonghwa really is a stupid motherfucker.

Why on earth would he allow himself to be taken out on a date by his nurse?

Why would he enjoy it?

Why would he blabber on about his personal issues?

Why does he care so much?

And why, for the love of anything, would he agree to let Hongjoong give him a massage?

A massage.

As in hands on skin.

In what universe is this a good idea?

Sure, it had hurt like a bitch to land on that patch of grass after their race— no matter how breathless and giddy he had felt at the time— but was this really necessary?

Even worse than hitting the ground had been the way Seonghwa found himself lying on the grass with Hongjoong hovering over him, smelling like cologne and looking like he was plucked right out of the sky just to occupy the dark expanse of Seonghwa's universe like a bright celestial star with a grin.

He can no longer deny it now.

Hongjoong is handsome and thoughtful, sweet and insightful.

He's managed to befriend Seonghwa— a near impossible task if you ask some people— and yet Seonghwa feels it—

This foreknowledge that if he isn't careful, this friendship will continue to grow, blossoming into something that others would find beautiful, but that Seonghwa knows is as sharp as thorns.

There's no way the nurse would ever want him, and yet—

They're back at the apartment after the "date", Hongjoong having excused himself to get changed into something more comfortable while Seonghwa just sits in his room, asking himself how exactly he got to this point.

He was supposed to be at his date's home right now, probably getting ready to be intimate for the first time in years but he's not.

So why is he still nervous?

Why can't he do what needs to be done and tell Hongjoong that he doesn't want to explore this strange, ever-growing thing that's happening between them?

Why, despite the fact that he's so starved for affection, can he not do what is in his best interest and turn away?

It would be so easy....

"Do you have any massage oil?"

Hongjoong is standing in the doorway now, dressed in sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt.

Seonghwa isn't used to seeing his caretaker like this; the nurse is almost always dressed up or in his usual scrubs, not looking like he's about to have a sleepover.

Seonghwa swallows hard.

"Uh, I think Wooyoung might have some in the bathroom cabinet."

Humming, Hongjoong goes to retrieve the oil and Seonghwa tries to knock some sense into himself.

It's just a massage to help his back, that's it.