CHAPTER 23: ''Here I am alone between the heavens and the embers''

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~SONG TO LISTEN TO WHILE READING (If you want of course):  In the Stars - by Benson Boone.

Tony.

My ears were still ringing as I was staring up at the ceiling, tears streaming down my face. The empty bottle of whisky fell out of my hand, onto the ground with a hard thud, some of it spilled on the floor.

I couldn't move, my body was numb and it hurt to breathe. This couldn't be happening. "Ms. Potts is at the door, sir" J.A.R.V.I.S.'s voice echoed through the intercom in my bedroom. "Shall, I let her in?" J.A.R.V.I.S. suggested. I didn't answer. So Pepper was able to override his system and walk in.

Her heels clicked on the marble tiles, causing me to grab my forehead. My head was falling apart. She stopped at the head of the sofa, staring down at me, judgment eminent on her face. It was mixed with a sorry look on her face, however. A big sigh left her lips as she crouched down and grabbed the bottle off the floor putting it down on the table with a hard thud. "Tony" she sighed. "You have to get up now," she said, her voice stern. I ignored her. No muscle in my body had the energy to move.

Every time my heart pumped, I hoped it be my last as I could not fathom the pain I was feeling. No amount of alcohol could numb this pain.

Pepper got upset and grabbed my arm. She pulled me up into a sitting position but I had no intentions of moving or being cooperative so, I just sat up, slumped like a sack of potatoes. "You have to get ready now, your flight leaves in an hour" I leaped for the bottle of whisky and chugged the last of it down.

She got tired of me just ignoring her and she grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and dragged me to the adjoining bathroom, into the shower. I came down with a thud. Before I could protest she had opened the faucet and cold water came down pouring all over me. As I was sobering up, my emotions hit me all at once. I started crying. "I don't-" I cried. Pepper sighed and crouched down next to the shower door.

"Tony, you have to go" She turned off the faucet. I was leaning up against the wall behind me. "Your flight leaves in an hour"

"I can't" I sighed. "She can't be gone, Pepper." she had a hurt look on her face. It was only then, that I noticed that she was fully dressed in black. She noticed my eyes darting over her clothes and then they met hers.

"You're not alone" She squeezed my shoulder and stood up. "Now, go shower. I'll try to push your flight for another thirty minutes" she said, her voice stern, again. It took everything in my body for me to get up and shower.

About an hour later I stepped onto my jet. My tie felt way too tight around my neck, almost like it was suffocating me, so I kept fiddling with it until I just couldn't take it anymore and took it off. Much to Peppers's protests.

"It's not like she'll see it" I spit. Pepper's breath hitched as her hand clutched her necklace. I walked to my seat and sat down. I was left staring at the empty seat in front of me. A big lump formed in my throat.

The stewardess came in asking If I needed something. "Yeah whiskey" Pepper protested but I shushed her. The woman went and got the beverage. When she put it down on the table. "Can you leave the bottle too?" she put on a soft smile, but she had a sorry look on her face.

I caught a glimpse of Pepper, looking at me with a very disappointed. But I couldn't care less. A big sigh left her lips as she kept toggling on her phone. I think she had given up on keeping me sober. I took the glass of whiskey and drank it like a shot—the residue burning in my throat.

It wasn't so long before Pepper shook me violently. "Tony, we're almost there. We're landing soon." I groaned as my head was pounding and the light was bright. She handed me a glass of water and some aspirin for me to take before we touched down.

"You're too good for me, Pepper. You shouldn't putting up with me" I sighed.

"It's my job, Tony. You pay me to do this" she said. They weren't exactly the comforting words I needed to hear. But I guess I deserved that. I haven't been the greatest boss or nicest person. And All of that didn't matter since the one light in my life was gone.

Ransom's death wasn't something I saw coming and it was something I had trouble coming to grips with. Even though everyone told me that she fought till her last breath. But that her injuries were too severe for her to recover from. Even for someone as strong and resilient as she was. My eyes burned when I thought of her, laying there in that hospital bed as the heart monitor flatlined. The feeling of Thor and Ahmed holding me back, as they tried to fight back tears, didn't leave my head as it kept playing repeatedly in a loop. Followed by the look of her pale and bruised face before the nurse put a blanket over her body covering her.

I couldn't believe she wasn't here anymore. The light of my life, my better half. I had failed the one thing I promised my father. I couldn't even protect her.

I was supposed to protect her...

With that thought, I got off the plane

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With that thought, I got off the plane. I was wearing sunglasses, to try and hide my horrible hangover and my red puffy eyes. I was greeted by an army, comepletly dressed in black, with sad faces. 

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