ivy; walker scobell imagines

prettier than me

a/n: disclaimer! i have nothing against blondes, i've just looked through walker's following enough to notice how many of the girls he follows are blonde (it's a lot) anyways, if there are any blondes here, ily ur stunning i have absolutely nothing against you

requested by: halfbloodbaby

trigger warnings: insecurity, body dysmorphia

summary: the reader feels insecure about her body, compares herself to other girls, walker comforts her!

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y/n's pov:

they're all so much prettier than you. skinnier, even curves and button noses. half of them are blonde. you're looking through walker's following again. you're not sure why you do this to yourself. you're only here to see how many girls he's following. the answer is a lot. and they're all so pretty. why would walker chose them over you? you aren't perfect. you're messy and uneven. you don't think imperfection looks good on you. nobody's perfect, but some people, like those girls? they wear it better. you put the phone down. it's pointless. you probably won't ever live up to walker's expectations. he shouldn't love you. why does he even love you? you shake your head in your best attempt to clear these nasty thoughts away. ick. save it for someone who cares. 

a couple days later, you are getting ready to go to the mall with walker. he insisted that you two needed to get matching vans. it's peak couple-ness apparently. his words, not yours. he's sprawled out on your bed, not a care in the world about the fact that his long legs are taking up the whole queen-sized mattress. you don't mind it either. the more space he takes up, the less you do. that's the way you prefer it. he's watching tiktoks or something, or at least, that's what you can see from the mirror. you sigh as you look at yourself in the mirror. your outfit is scratching at your edges. it doesn't sit right and it's making your stomach turn. it's definitely you, not the outfit. your thighs are standing out and you don't like the shape of your chest. it's not fair that you have to look like this while all those other girls walker follows look like goddesses. you aren't even close. tears start to well up in your eyes, a lump of frustration and jealousy forms in the back of your throat. you don't even care anymore as the tears start to trace the lines of your face. those lines, creasing what could've been a perfectly good canvas. you dig your fingernails into your palms, a bad habit. you don't even realize that you're shaking until you feel a hand on your shoulder. walker. he spins you gently towards him. 

"baby, what's wrong?" 

the concern in his eyes disgusts you. you disgust you. he should just leave you. you aren't worth the effort. 

"hey. y/n. look at me," he says, catching your attention.

you look at him, tears still falling from your eyes. 

"walker, how can you love me?" you say, voice breaking.

his eyes widen in realization.

"what do you mean?" 

"i'm so-," you make a retching noise, "there are so many other girls out there. pretty gorgeous girls who would make you so happy, and you chose me? i'm not worth it." 

"stop."

his voice startles you. it's strong and firm. the pads of his thumbs wipe the tears from your cheeks. 

"please don't ever say something like that again, please."

on the last please, his voice breaks and he looks away. his adam's apple bobs as he swallows. you tug on your fingers. 

"listen to me, y/n. you are genuinely, the most beautiful girl i have ever laid eyes on. i swear time would stop for you if you smiled at it. i don't want anyone else, but you. not now, not then, not ever. you are the only one for me. the only one. ok? those other girls? they don't mean anything, i'll go unfollow them in a second, but you? you mean the world to me and i would do anything for you," he says. 

the absolute admiration in his voice breaks you. he wipes the tears off your cheeks as you silently sob into his palms. you look down at your feet, suddenly, maybe not hating them so much. 

"really?" you say, still not believing how this gorgeous specimen of a boy decided he loves you.

he nods, tapping your freckles. he tilts your head up, so you are face to face, nose to nose. 

"look at me?" 

you look at him. he's smiling down at you, the adoration in his gaze makes your knees weak. you are so in love with this boy. and he is so in love with you. as much as you don't want to admit it. he is wholly yours. 

"can i kiss you?" he asks, eyes going from your lips back to your eyes.

"you know you don't have to ask."

"i know. i just like hearing you say that," he smirks. 

you roll your eyes through the tears as he leans down and kisses you. soft and sweet, tasting like your pomegranate chapstick. you thread your hands through his curls as his hands cup your hips. you sink into him, his clean scent filling your nostrils and taking root in your sinuses. he's the life raft in your storm. when he pulls away, you're both smiling. he kisses your nose. 

"i love you so much, my gorgeous girl." 

your cheeks flush.

"i love you too, walkie." 

"let's go get those vans, shall we?"

he offers you his arm and you let him lead the way.

he did end up unfollowing all those girls. just for you.

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hello my beautiful, beautiful people!! just wanted to remind you that you are gorgeous and stunning and jaw-dropping and if i ever saw any of you in real life i would've folded and fallen over!! i love you so much have a very lovely day or night!! 

i've looked through walker's following so many times and it makes me so jelly i probably need to get a grip and stop being possessive of someone i've never met. 

-1k words