One Human and a Whole Lotta Bones!

Hand Soap

Your hands were covered in coffee grounds. Of course Sans just "had to go to work" and he "was almost late" and couldn't spare a single minute to clean up after he knocked over the container of specialty South American coffee grounds.

You made a mental note to get him back later, maybe put the coffee grounds in his slippers? Maybe in his bed? Maybe in his skull while he was sleeping? Decisions, decisions...

As you fantasized your revenge, your hands were busy with cleaning the mess. To even more detriment, these skeletons did not own not one broom in their whole house. And when you asked Sans where the broom was so that you could sweep, he asked "what's a broom?". So you had to get on your knees and scoop of the small mountain of coffee grounds. You didn't know how these skeletons survived.

Your hands, now considerably dirty, needed to be cleaned. You got up and turned to the kitchen sink to clean them, only to find the soap diluted with water. You sighed, trying to make the best of it, but it was so diluted that the coffee just got watery and combined when you tried to wash it off.

Now frustrated, you decided to walk past the foyer and up the stairs to the nearest bathroom. This bathroom was shared by Edge, Stretch, and Blue, it also had diluted soap. You would think that Edge in particular would have better standards of soap to wash his hands with.

Continuing to the next bathroom, which was shared by you, Cinnabar, and Russ. There was a similar issue. You remembered that the soap was a little low this morning, Russ and Cinnabar were going to answer for their crimes as soon as they came home.

Traversing the hallway to the third-nearest bathroom which was Sans', you would've usually been hesitant to enter someone's room without their permission, but right now you were so frustrated and coffee-handed that you could care less. Despite your frustration, the same problem occurred in Sans' bathroom. "This is ridiculous..." you muttered to yourself.

It wasn't your first time encountering this issue. But when you'd walk about the house to another bathroom, at least the second one you went to had pure, non-ninety-percent-water hand soap.

Your last hope was Papyrus and the basement, and you had hoped with all your little human soul that Papyrus would be your salvation. That Papyrus would be the one to save you from this coffee-grounds-on-hands nightmare. You reached his bathroom and the same lack of real soap was found.

You were considering up wiping your hands on Sans' bed sheets.

With just a sliver of PATIENCE left in you, you decided to go all the way down the stairs to the basement bathroom. You found the same problem.

You took a deep inhale, decidedly fed up with this whole ordeal.

"mornin', sweetheart"

"Red, get your coat. We're going to the store to buy hand soap," you thought for a moment, "also a broom."

"what the hell is a broom?"

—

Coffee grounds still on your hands, you were on a mission. Eyes narrowed, hands on the wheel, you took Red in your car and to the store. Red thought the whole situation was hilarious and started laughing as soon as you told him, and continued to laugh until now.

"oh! oh it hurts! hahahah!" He had your passenger seat laid back to accommodate for him. You silently noted just how large he was, which wasn't a bad thing, just interesting. You didn't know how a skeleton could be "large".

"I'm glad someone is getting a kick out of this." You remarked, rolling your eyes.

"hey doll, at least you have free car freshener after this!" he laughed, holding a hand to his would-be-stomach in pain.