One Human and a Whole Lotta Bones!

Condiments

"What is with you guys and condiments?" You asked, raising a brow.

You were in the kitchen for a moment, intending to make a pit stop to get some water. You had homework to do. That was until you saw Sans, having already opened the fridge. You asked him to pass you a bottle of water, and he did. What you did not expect was how he also pulled out a brand new family sized bottle of ketchup and started sipping it like you would whiskey on the rocks.

Sans furrowed his brows in questioning, closing the fridge doors. "what do you mean?"

Fortunately for you, all your roommates that drunk condiments were in the same space before you came down. You've wanted to ask them this since you got here, and you figured that now was the perfect time.

"You guys drink them, like from the bottle. Do you not think that's odd?" You wore a skeptical expression on your face. Maybe you were just ignorant because you're a human, and condiments are considered both alcoholic and just okay drinks, and not add-ons to a meal.

"no not really." Stretch piped up, taking a swig of his "special honey" as he called it.

"you gotta understand guys, humans ain't fun. they only use condiments on food, they never drink it." Red uttered, sounding as if not drinking condiments wasn't a weird thing to do.

"Red, humans are practical, we've been over this," you eyed him tiredly, "Plus, condiments are so thick in consistency and taste, or in Russ' case, the opposite!" Russ opened his mouth, agape and offended. "Why would you wanna drink that?"

'it tastes great. it's just something you ________, y/n." Russ signed, you only half understanding what he said.

Your knowledge of sign was limited to a high school grad requirement class, and another grad requirement class in your freshman year of undergrad. You had been practicing so you could properly communicate with Russ, but you were still not fully fluent.

Russ saw your confused expression and wrote out what he said to you on his notepad he always carries. The face on his shirt also turned to a look of slight annoyance, you didn't know how that worked.

"it tastes great. it's just something you need to experience, y/n" was written rather elegantly on the pad. Russ had surprisingly wonderful penmanship.

"Ahh that's what you meant!" You acknowledged, resigned. "Well I suppose I could understand the affection for ketchup, as it does have a pretty decent taste. But other than that, I can't understand the others very much."

Sans seemed get giddy from your agreement, giving him an ego boost. Your other roommates on the other hand, were not happy with this conclusion you've drawn.

"you... can't understand the others that much, huh?" Red eyed you with frustration, you suddenly regretted your words.

"Well! I mean, everyone has their own opinions! You don't have to listen to me and mine," You muttered nervously. Sans put his hand on your shoulder reassuringly, only because he was the one you complimented. "no need to apologize for revealing the truth, y/n. they're finally ketchup with reality." He smirked.

There was a semi-playful tension throughout the room.

"that's it! were gonna settle this right here and now ya' blue bastard!"

Oh boy...

"i challenge you to a condiment debate!" red pointed to you. "you're the decider and mediator!" he was now speaking to the room. "whoever convinces y/n that they drink the superior condiment wins! who's with me?"