The following weeks were nothing short of torture. Mattheo was getting more and more ruthless and his behaviour towards me was just getting worse and worse. It was affecting me more and more but I refused to show him that. I continued to retaliate and be almost as cruel. Everyone in the school was well aware of the new level our rivalry had got to and the detentions i was receiving were endless. But as much as i hated getting detention, it would have been worse to just let Mattheo treat me how he was. I knew he was being punished as well, and worse than me but it didn't provide any sort of satisfaction.
I was so sick of being his enemy and desperately wanted it to end but couldn't see and out and refused to give into him. I was getting colder and colder, not just towards Mattheo but everyone else. My body was filled with so much anger and struggle, that my relationship with others was suffering. I'd lash out or shut myself away, leaving my friends wondering how to help me. I began to hate myself and hate Mattheo more for turning me into this. My demeanour changed from a friendly, loving person to a cold, hate-filled one.
After another few weeks of this my friends started distancing themselves. Even Pansy stopped coming to the dorm as often as she used to. It was tearing me apart but the situation with Mattheo was so bad I couldn't stop the person I was becoming.
In the corridor one day I found myself in a heated argument with Mattheo. I gripped my wand tightly in my hand, as did Mattheo with his. It escalated quickly and spells were being fired back and forth. Mattheo was stronger than me but all the built up emotions meant I stood a chance. A crowd quickly gathered and soon enough the professors arrived. They disarmed both of us and separated us quickly. It was at that point we were both given a warning that if the behaviour didn't stop there was a chance we could be expelled. The warning felt like a blow to my stomach and the realisation of how much of a bad person I had become hit me.
The following day i didn't go to class. I stayed in my dorm, tears streaming down my cheeks as the past few months washed over me. It only just hit how much this was destroying my life, especially since none of my friends had come to see if I was okay. Usually, if i didn't show up to class they would come to check but this time they didn't. As much as it hurt, I fully understood why they didn't. I had pushed them away, changed who i was as a person.
I felt empty, cold, miserable. I had broken the promise I made to myself.
