Pure Massacre // Billie Joe

(7)

Billie

I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I drove back home. This was the happiest I'd been in ages. Last night's events kept replaying over and over in my mind, and I feel accomplished. A feeling I hadn't felt in years.

I ignore my wife in the living room, marching upstairs and straight to Joey's room. I knew he was at school, so this was the perfect time for this sort of snooping.

I grab his year book from last year, and flip through the pages to find the school photos. I didn't know why I was doing this. She's become my obsession. All I seem to think about now is her.

My mind is reeling, hands fumbling over each page to find the one. I swallow, eyes running over the faces of unknown students until I land on her. Faith.

My fingers softly stroke the picture, her small smile not fooling anyone. Her grey eyes were full of emotion, none of it being happiness. My eyebrows slightly furrow, studying the picture of the mysterious girl.

I wonder what's going on for her. Is she being abused by a parent? Sibling? Is she abusing herself? I cringe at the thought of Faith harming her porcelain skin, or anyone else for that matter. I wanted to do something to help, but I had no clue what.
I almost felt completely helpless in the situation. I was strangely compelled to helping her, or I was just compelled to her in general. My emotions would mix up and go crazy every time I was around her. It was a mix of sadness, anger, sympathy, confusion, but most of all, I felt lust.
I had never felt this for my wife, or any other girl I'd fucked on the way either. My heart didn't start racing when I looked at Adrienne, I didn't get hot flushes, and my body didn't throb. These feelings towards Faith were unusual. And it didn't seem like they were going to stop anytime soon.

"Billie? Billie, are you listening to me?"

I look up at the man in front of me, a dazed expression on my face. The physiatrist looks at me with concern, before looking down to the clip board in front of him to write something down. I grit my teeth, single headedly cracking my knuckles.

I hated this place. I hated the smell of cleaning products and plastic. I hated the tinged yellow walls and the shiny white floor. I hated the doctor's grim expressions, and the fake smiles. I hated everything about it.

Adrienne's been making me see this dude for about 3 years now. Why don't they realise that if I haven't changed already, why would I start now? She would go on about how we need to conserve money, but then spend money on this shit.

"So how much longer do I have in here" I impatiently ask, tapping my fingers on the side of the brown leather chair. It was almost time for school to end, and I wanted to see Faith again.

"I just need to ask a few more questions" He curtly says, pushing the glasses perched on his nose further up. "How have you been feeling recently?"

"Great, fine, fantastic" I sarcastically state, rolling my eyes and crossing my arms over my chest like a three year old.

"Nothing is going to change if you don't give honest answers, Mr Armstrong" The doctor sighs.

"Nothing's going to change anyway" I snap, abruptly standing from the expensive seat. "What happened, happened and I can't change anything"

The doctor stares up at me with his serious, dull eyes, not saying a word. I stare back at him, raising my upper lips into a snarl. I wasn't going to put up with this bullshit.

I snatch my jacket from behind me and quickly pace towards the white door. I make sure to slam it after my exit, and hastily make my way down the sickly pristine hallway. I grease the reception lady off at her desk, who opened her mouth to say something but quickly shut it when she saw the displease on my face.

I get into my car, still keeping the scowl on my face before pulling out and speeding down the road towards the school. I can't stop grinding my teeth as I rapidity dart between cars, not caring for any safety precautions. I must have gone well over the speed limit.

I arrive at the school, just as the first few students have begun to push through the door. I pull into the car park, my eyes shifting between faces to find the one. It was much like earlier, when I was looking for her in the year book.

After about 10 minutes of waiting, and much after the school was deserted, Faith pushes the heavy doors open with all her strength and walks out of the school. She looked so tiny. Being swallowed up by my Ramones shirt, and showing how small her legs really are from her skinny jeans.
She keeps her head down and her arms firmly across her chest as she quickly paces across the school yard, towards the gate.

I open the car door to go talk to her, until another person pushing easily though the school doors make me quickly retract back to my seat. The unknown person calls out her name, and jogs down the steps to meet her.

Faith turns around, but I was too far away to see what her facial expression is. When I finally get a good look at the unknown person, my eyes widen when he isn't an unknown person.

He's my son.

Joey hands her his phone, which she shyly gives hers. It looks like they're exchanging numbers. But why?

My eyebrows furrow as I lick my now dry lips. I better step in, just in case Joey says or does anything stupid.

I step out of the car, sliding my sunglasses onto my face. The two don't seem to notice as I walk up, and are still conversing.

"Hey guys" I say, making both their heads turn. Faiths face drops, as she stares at me as if I'm a ghost.

"Dad... you weren't meant to be picking me up today..." Joey eyes me.

"I was already out so..." I shift the weight on my feet.

"I- I better get going" Faith quietly says, handing back Joeys phone.

"Oh... well, I'll call you, ok?" Joey says, handing back her own. She begins to walk backwards, sending Joey a small but fake smile.

"Bye Mr Armstrong" She waves at me, before quickly disappearing out of the school and down the road.

After she was well and truly gone, Joey turns to me with a scowl on his face. "Really dad? Did you really have to step in?" He says, obviously annoyed.

"What are you talking about? Aren't I allowed to talk to both of you?" I protest.

"Not when I'm trying to hit on her!" Joey says, before quickly shutting his mouth and stepping back after he realised what he said.

My eyes widen, and my mouth takes the form of an O shape. He was hitting on her. And now Faith with normal tastes would obviously go for the younger boy in her year, not his 43 year old dad who's most likely going through a midlife crisis.

I slowly nod my head, shoving my hands in my pockets. My lips twist into a guilty look, staring at Joey who suddenly started to look guilty himself.

"Sorry dad..." He quietly says, making my eyes widen for the second time. I was glad I was wearing sunglasses. "I just really like her" Joey bashfully avoids my stare.

"S'fine Joey... really... I understand"

Literally. I understand.

"Why don't we go drop in and see the boys, eh? Have a bit of a play?" I offer.

Joey nods, slinging his backpack higher on his shoulder before turning and making his way to the car. I let out a long sigh, running my hands through my hair and following.

All good things come to a quick end, right?

A/N Sorry for late update!