Mine only

Chapter 4 - Hallucinations

Alyssa's POV

I woke up the next morning, feeling regret and guilt just to find myself fully dressed in bed, alone. Did he leave early? He wouldn't. Why would he dress me, though? The scratches on my body were still there, and my mind began to roam the possibilities of what could've happened. Maybe he was never here. Maybe I didn't even sleep with him. My mind keeps going back to details of yesterday. How he's trying to hide his moans behind his mask. How I left scratches all the way down his back when he hit my sensitive spot. How he grabbed my ass so roughly and slapped it. STOP! This could all just have been a dream. It's possible, right? I can't find him either way because his uniform looks the same as every other soldiers.

My mind couldn't stop thinking, and I felt myself beginning to doubt my memories. I got up and decided to have a nice hot shower, rinsing my body.

Then I decided to look for some clues if maybe I did sleep with him. No condom in the bin. That could mean two things. One, we didn't have sex, and two, I'm pregnant. I go downstairs and pour myself some coffee. I'm very aware he came over, but maybe we didn't sleep together. The thought kept crushing me. I realised that I might have someone I could ask about this. A friend of mine who would be willing to answer my questions.

"Soldiers cannot have sex on duty, especially not with someone who's injured. So, if it did happen, he probably fled the scene like a coward." I rang my only guy friend who's also might be my cousin. I don't have a lot of guy friends. Our minds work in completely different ways, so I don't bother. The words 'fled the scene' kept replaying in my head even after I hung up with Ethan. Is it possible? Or maybe I dreamt the whole sex part. But it was such a vivid dream. Is it even worth it to try and figure out? I mean, he is a soldier. And I don't even know his name. Even if I went to the base and asked where he is, I don't know who he is. How could I even ask him where he is. I needed an excuse to find him. Then, I make eye contact with a tiny note in my mailbox. And it reads: We both know the soldier isn't the one you should fear.

Suddenly, I get that feeling again. Like I'm being watched. I get goosebumps, and I begin to go very pale from fear. I mean, I feel helpless. It's not like he is threatening me or trying to even contact me, so there's no point in reporting it. I go into my bedroom but the feeling doesn't go away. I go into my bathroom, which has no windows except for a small one on the side, and hide there for a while, hoping the creep leaves. Or maybe I'm just being paranoid, and this never happened. Maybe this feeling is natural, and there's no one out there. I take a deep breath and leave my bathroom. I get dressed in the bathroom and leave to go and find him.

I can't believe how stupid I look, but I felt safe around him. It was so calming. And the way he took care of me. I mean, it's probably normal for him, but not to me. I leave the house, questioning whether I'm doing the right thing or not. But he's the only one that knows about my stalker and he's never came close enough to send me messages before, and I'm scared.

The walk was long, but I'm in town. The stairs flashed memories of yesterday into my head, but I carried on walking until I got to the mall. I still remember where he stood, and I'll go investigate.
I'm relieved to see the soldier standing in the same spot as yesterday. I take a deep breath and tap his shoulder.
"Can I help you ma'am?" His voice sounded different. More high-pitched.
"Uhh...do you happen to know who was on duty right here yesterday?" I can feel my cheeks flashing red, but deep down, I hope he can give me some help.
"Oh yea, it was Enzo. Enzo Ferrante. Why?" He asks, looking me up and down suspiciously.
"Because he did me a favour yesterday, and I wanted to thank him." And I definitely didn't sleep with him. Hopefully. He just gives me a nod and goes back to looking around.

I realised he's going to be no help for me. I might as well go to their camp. Ugh, I'm such an idiot for even following this man. I shouldn't is all I know. I'm so desperate it's pathetic. I walk to their base, not far from the mall, and enter the front office. I look like a fool standing here, but I go to the reception anyway.

"Hello, ma'am, how can I help you? Are you already enrolled, or would you like to sign up?" The question catches me off guard, but I refuse.
"I'm looking for someone." I say in a low whisper.
"And who would that be?" She smiles. The lady was sweet and young, too. She was also blonde and had a really nice smile.
"Enzo. Enzo Ferrante. I think." She smiled as she began typing, trying to find him. She nods slightly before turning back to me.
"And what's your relationship to Enzo?"
"I don't really know him, but he helped me yesterday, and I wanted to thank him." She looks at me confused for a second, but then she loses the expression.
"I'm not supposed to let you in, but you're free to go. Don't even make conversation with the others. They can control. You know, it doesn't sound like Enzo at all to be helpful. Maybe I got the wrong name. I enter the base, and there are men everywhere. Some are dressed in black uniforms, some in camo. Some smile at me, some wink, and some ignore me.

All I know is how he looks without his mask. I just maybe need to hear his voice. Or see his face. Maybe he can recognise me. I'm not too sure we did drink a lot last night. He could've forgotten. Or maybe this was all a hallucination from alcohol. I need to tell him. I need his help, and he understood me yesterday. He could help me.