Dork Diaries Drama Queen

Friday, April 4

Today we only had a half day of school due to teacher training.

 Which means I didn't get a chance to talk to Chloe and Zoey about thatbig blowup I had with Brandon yesterday.

 The crazy thing is that I think I'm more upset about it today than I was yesterday. Go figure!

 I stopped by Brandon's locker a couple of times to try to talk to him, but he was never around.

 So now I'm starting to suspect that he might be avoiding me. If I were him, I'd avoid me too!

 I really want to believe Mackenzie made up that stupid rumour about the Prank-4-Pizza—but what if all (or some?) of it is actuallyTRUE?!!

 NONE of this makes sense! So in spite of all the craziness with Brandon yesterday, I'll still consider him a true friend.

 He deserves it. 

The Brandon I know would NEVER, EVER accept a dare like that. And I REFUSE to waste any more of my time OBSESSING over it.

 Anyway, after school I was doing my biology homework when my bratty little sister, Brianna, came skipping into my room, singing to herself. 

"I've got a surprise! I've got a surprise!"She poked her head over my shoulder to see what I was doing. 

"Don't you wanna know what it is?" she asked. 

"Nope," I answered indifferently, and continued reading. 

"Well, I'm gonna show you anyway!"

 That's when Brianna grinned and slammed a fishbowl on top of my biology book. 

Water splashed everywhere. My homework was completely soaked! . . .

Brianna!!" I yelled. "What are you doing?! Now my book and homework are soaking wet! Go away!"

 I took another look at the fishbowl and realized there was actually a goldfish in it. 

"Where did THAT come from?" 

"My teacher!" she replied. "She's letting ME babysit the class goldfish, Rover, for the entire weekend! We're gonna do lots of fun stufftogether since we're best friends!"

 All I could do was shake my head. 

"Well, I think you need to be more careful with him. And more responsible. You could've cracked the fishbowl!"

 "Responsible? What does that mean?" she asked. 

"Let's see . . . how do I explain this in Nick Jr. terms?" I tapped my chin in thought. 

"I'll use Mom as an example. Mom feeds you, drives youto school, takes care of you when you're sick, and makes sure that you're always safe. That's called being responsible." 

"Oh! NOW I understand. So, I need to be Rover's mommy!" she said eagerly.

 "Yeah, something like that," I said. "Take him to your room and read him a story. I don't want any more water on my homework." 

"Okeydokey!" she replied, and picked up her fishbowl. "Rover, your mommy is taking you to see her bedroom!"

I was glad she had that fish, because I figured it would keep her occupied and out of my hair.

 But fifteen minutes later she came bouncing back into my room. 

"Where's Rover?" I asked her.

 "He's taking a bubble bath," she answered. 

"WHAT?! Did you say BUBBLE BATH?!" I shrieked. 

"Yep. He smelled really fishy, so I thought I'd give him a nice, warm bubble bath! That's what Mommy would do, right?" 

"Brianna, are you serious?! Rover's a FISH! He's SUPPOSED to smell really fishy!"

 "Well, he DOESN'T smell fishy anymore! Come take a sniff! I gotta go finish his bubble bath now. And dry him with your hair dryer. Bye!"

 Oh . . . CRUD! I slammed my book shut and sighed. 

So much for homework!

 I rushed down the hall and then peeked into the bathroom to check on poor Rover.

 And, sure enough, it was just as I had feared.

 He was covered in soap suds and bubbles and FLOATING in the bathroom sink!Brianna was busy adding even more water. . . .

"OMG! You really gave your goldfish a bubble bath? Are you crazy?!" I exclaimed. "Brianna, you cooked the darn thing!!" 

"What are you talking about? Rover's really having fun. See how relaxed he is?

Brianna stuck the dead fish right in my face. That's when I threw up in my mouth a little.

 "He's FAR from relaxed!" I told Brianna. "He's not moving because he's . . . DEAD!"

 "I'm his mommy, not you! And I say he's sleeping! So there!" she said, sticking her tongue out at me. 

But when she asked me if Rover could borrow MY toothbrush so they could brush their teeth together at bedtime, I'd heard enough!

 Obviously, something had to be done. If I let her learn the truth on her own, she'd probably need therapy for the rest of her life. Thenagain, Dad wasn't exactly the expert on topics like this. He'd probably just flush poor Rover down the toilet, which would be even moretraumatizing to Brianna. I decided to talk to Mom about the dead fish situation tomorrow evening, as soon as she returned home from hervisit with my grandma. 

Sometimes having a NUTTY little sister is really challenging!!