This is the exact book of the real dork diaries series book. For those who don't have the book in real life, this book is your go-to! Enjoy, and full credit to Rachel Renée Russell for writing this amazing book!
How was YOUR day, hon?NOT very good? I thought so!
Especially after I saw you MOPING around school like a sad little puppy with your patheticBFFs, Chloe and Zoey, trailing behind you.
You guys looked really worried and appeared tobe searching for something.I wonder what?!
But enough about YOU! Let's talk about ME!!
Didn't you just LOVE the brand-new designer outfit that I wore to school today?It actually matched MY diary!!
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I think my new leopard-print cover looks ten times better than YOUR tacky blue-jean cover.
And that cute little pocket was SO immature!
Anyway, Nikki, when you and your BFFs walked up to your locker, I was standing justinches away from you, writing in your MY diary!
OMG! It was SURREAL!
But because I am a very compassionate person and you were obviously super upset aboutsomething, I asked you if anything was wrong.
"Excuse me, Nikki, but WHY are you throwing your JUNK all over the hallway? This is NOTyour bedroom! WHAT is WRONG with you?!" I asked sweetly.
"Sorry, Mackenzie. We'll clean up my stuff in a minute," you said, rolling your sad eyes atme. "But right now we're busy looking for something really important, okay?"
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"Oh, really? Maybe I can help you find it. So, what did you lose, Nikki?" I asked, trying mybest to be helpful.
That's when you, Chloe, and Zoey nervously glanced at each other and started whispering.
"So now it's a big secret?!" I asked, getting a little impatient. "Well . . . WHAT did youlose?!"
Then the three of you answered at exactly the same time. . . .
"Homework!" said Zoey.
"Sweater!" said Chloe.
"Cell phone!" you said.
"Wait a minute!" I exclaimed, totally confused. "WHAT exactly did you lose?!"
"Sweater!" said Zoey.
"Cell phone!" said Chloe.
"Homework!" you said.
You guys were obviously LYING to me, but I just played along with your little charade.
"So you lost homework, a sweater, AND a cell phone?!" I asked suspiciously.
Chloe and Zoey answered "No!" at the exact same time that you answered "Yes!"Then Chloe and Zoey changed THEIR answer to "Yes!" at the same exact time that youchanged YOUR answer to "No!"
And get this! THEN you all gave each other dirty looks and started whispering again. But Ijust played right along.
"Listen, you idiots!" I said impatiently. "I was going to offer to help you FIND whatever it isthat you lost! But since you obviously don't know WHAT you're looking for, I won't bother!"
"Mackenzie, thanks. But please, just mind your OWN business!" Chloe said all snotty-like.
"Yeah, we GOT this!" Zoey added, glaring at me.
Sorry, but I couldn't resist it any longer.
"Fine! Then I WILL just mind my OWN business! I just hope you didn't lose your stupid littlediary, Nikki! Because if it ever gets into the wrong hands, all your DIRT Y little secrets willget out and this entire school will know what a big PHONY you are! Especially Brandon!"
OMG, Nikki! When I said the "D" word—DIARY—you looked like you'd just seen a ghost!!
I reallywish you could have seen your face! It was PRICELESS!!The three of you just stared at me in complete shock with your mouths dangling open.
I wanted to pull out my cell phone and take a snapshot of you guys.
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And then post it at: YouHaveNoIdeaHowStupidYouLookRightNow.
Anyway, you and your BFFs completely TRASHED your locker!
But you STILL didn't find your diary, did you?!POOR BABY!!
Well, I better get to class!I completely lost track of time, and the bell just rang.I have to admit, this diary stuff is starting to get kind of addicting!
TOODLES!
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