This is the exact book of the real dork diaries series book. For those who don't have the book in real life, this book is your go-to! Enjoy, and full credit to Rachel Renée Russell for writing this amazing book!
I have no idea why you spend hours and hours writing in this stupid little diary of yours.
But let me guess!
It's because you seriously need to GET A LIFE!
When I want to share my life experiences or vent about something, I just talk to Mommy and Daddy. Of course, sometimes Mommy is super busy being a socialite and doing charity work. And sometimes Daddy is super busy building his multimillion-dollar business empire.
But when my very dedicated parents can't spend quality time with me (which I have to admit happens far too frequently these days), I can always rely on Dr. Hadley, my therapist.
He will listen to me patiently for an ENTIRE hour as long as Daddy pays him $480 a session. AND I get to go TWICE a week if I want to!!
How COOL is that?! I'm a VERY lucky girl!
But please don't be jealous of me, okay? I feel really SORRY for you, Nikki, because ALL you have for emotional support are your very WEIRD parents. And this STUPID little diary.
And nobody else cares about you! Except maybe your bratty little sister, Brianna. Oh, and Chloe and Zoey. And probably Marcy, Violet, and Jenny. Of course, there's also Theo and Marcus.
But Brandon? Rumour has it that he's so OVER you!
Sorry, hon, but your BOO has moved on. My point is that YOU have no REAL friends WHATSOEVER!
And you're insanely JEALOUS that the CCPs practically WORSHIP the ground I walk on!!
Anyway, I need to make one thing perfectly clear: I DID NOT ST EAL YOUR DIARY!
I have way too much integrity to stoop that low.
Besides, Daddy would buy me an entire DIARY FACTORY in some poor third-world country if I really wanted one!
Just sayin'.
He mostly gives me everything I want, especially if I throw a temper tantrum about it. And Mommy says I'm an even bigger DRAMA QUEEN than SHE is!
They both SO adore me!
So, yesterday I was on my way to my locker to freshen up my lip gloss. My stylist says you can NEVER wear too much lip gloss!
YOU had just rushed off to class, when I witnessed a very CATASTROPHIC event. .
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That coat of yours was so HIDEOUS that it gave me hives.
I seriously contemplated dialing 911for an ambulance.
But not for ME!
I wanted them to transport your puke-coloured coat to the city DUMP. And then BURN it as a public health hazard. And YES, Nikki, I sincerely did try to alert you to the fact that your coat sleeve was stuck in your locker door.
