Theo And Reed's Family Secrets

Chapter Five

 " Thanks for fitting me in on a Sunday , Hank , " Mayor Zach " Saint " St. Austin  said precisely after shaking hands with his old colleague Dr. Henry Hawke  from Georgetown University Hospital. Then they both took their seats , him in front of Hank's mildly disorganized desk and Hank behind it. He felt a little better than he had last night but not by much.  It had been coming and going for weeks now. He had been able to hide it at city hall and home but last night..... It had been so damn embarrassing to have Matt call in Reed to carry him about like he was a child. Like he was Livvie or Baylee. Last night had been bad. The pain..... The numbness in his legs. All he remembered was being in the living room listening to Matt talking about the latest disrespect from Kyle and then he just couldn't hold himself any longer. He could barely move. Livvie had been there and the look of fear in his daughter's big brown eyes...... He had scared Livvie. Hell he had scared M. He was pretty damn sure he had even scared Reed. That night made him realize he needed help. That was why he called Hank for this private appointment today. Even though Matt thought he was at city hall on important business. He thought he knew what it was. He prayed and hoped it wasn't what he feared. He couldn't do that to his husband and children. He didn't want to be a burden on his family. 

Hank nodded. " Anything for you , Saint. Mayor Saint I should say. Leslie and I haven't seen you and Matt in ages. We need to get together for dinner. At your house because your man cooks his ass off. "  Then he regarded the serious face of his visitor. " What's wrong , Saint ? " 

Saint swallowed hard. He was a doctor. He recognized his own symptoms. He knew what was wrong with him. He also knew there was no cure. He would just get worse over time. 

He couldn't do that to Matthew. 

" I need you to do a full work up on me. And a MRI. And I need this to be completely confidential. I also need the results back fast. I need to know for sure. "

                                             __________

Matt St. Austin was in his beloved kitchen stirring the batter of his latest cake recipe. Then he just stopped stirring. He just stood there blinking his green eyes rapidly from the sudden rush of tears that formed there. He , in his mind's eye , saw his big strong bodied husband kissing him before he left that morning. 

( " I'm sorry , baby , about last night , " Saint had murmured. " Don't worry about me. I'm fine. I'll be back in a few. Business at city hall. When I get back let's take the kids to the park and have a picnic. It's a beautiful day. Let's not waste it. " )

Matt let out an almost weak breath as he whispered , " No , you're not ok. You're not fine. "

Saint thought he was hiding it from him but Matt was more observant than most gave him credit for being. Especially when it came to his loved ones. He saw the pain. In Saint's eyes. In his body whenever he moved. When Saint tried to get comfortable in bed. The few times he had mentioned it to Saint he just laughed it off , saying that he " was just getting older" . They were in their late forties but Matt didn't think that was the issue at all. Of course as you aged things got achy. It was just how life went. With Saint it was happening way too much. 

Matt tightened his mouth stubbornly. When Saint got back from wherever he went they were going to the bedroom to have a real talk. Like they had once had before life got in the way with kids and jobs and campaigns and polls. He was putting his foot down. Saint was going to see a doctor immediately or else. Or else what , he could almost hear his tall blond husband tease him. 

Matt left the cake batter alone on the counter and went to look out the big bay window into the backyard where Livvie was playing in the treehouse with Benji , Chandra and Sam. He would never have even dreamed these words. He loved that man. He had loved him since they were both kids growing up on his father's estate in Georgia ; Saint the boss's golden boy son , Matt the butler's kid. He loved that stubborn son of a bitch. Matt's panic attacks came less and less but his main trigger was when he feared he was losing the people he loved. He would not lose his husband. He could not. 

Or else.

Or else. 

He would leave Saint and take the kids.