Good thing this is called fanfiction.
req from: purple_bats
tw: implied/reference bodysh@ming, mentions of bodysh@ming, implied/reference of body dysmorphia.
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"Big bear Nicky!" Chris sang, his voice can be heard all throughout the house.
His brothers were used to making fun of him because he was never really the type of person to dwell on those things. Well, that was before. That's not the case now. Who wouldn't be affected when the whole internet is talking about how big you are and how you are twice larger than your brothers' size.
Chris continued singing, "Look at that chubby cutie face and jingling belly!"
When Matt chuckled, Nick rolled his eyes, even though the comment kinda hurt his heart. His brothers have no idea that these things affect him now. All they know is that he's good with it and he doesn't give a fuck.
"Shut your trap, Chris. You're so fucking annoying." Nick snapped at him, Chris gasped jokingly.
"Oh no! Did I make big bear Nicky angry?" He widened his eyes as he turned to look at Matt.
"You did!" Matt replies with the same tone.
Nick got up and went to his room, he could hear his brothers laughing as he made his way to his room. The moment he closed the door, he looked at himself in the mirror.
Fat.
Nick pinch himself wishing that he could just pop out all the fatness in his body and just live normally. If he wasn't fat, maybe his life would be fucking different. Maybe he wouldn't feel freaking miserable just like now.
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"Our chubby Nicky is eating again! Next time it would be fatty, not chubby anymore because of how much you eat!" Chris exclaimed the moment he goes in the kitchen.
Nick felt something dropped in his stomach. He was eating again. How many chocolates did he eat? He really should watch out. No chocolates for the next following weeks then!
"Our stupid Chrissy is talking again! Next time it would be no brain Chrissy because of how much you spew nonsense!" Nick respond, annoyance laced in his tone.
"Woah, you're not actually annoyed don't you?"
Nick massaged the bridge of his nose. He really doesn't have the time to explain everything to Chris. He doubts he would even listen. Chris rarely listen to any of them anyway so Nick don't see the point of telling him these kind of things. He don't want to repeat himself over and over again.
When Chris left, Nick sighed.
What's worse than the hate comments in Nick's comment section? The hate comments in his mind.
It would be a whole lot easier if he have the confidence. If he loved himself enough, don't get Nick wrong. He loves himself, it's just that it wasn't enough. He doesn't love himself enough because if he did, he would've stood up against his haters. Against himself, but he didn't so it's not a shock to know that he doesn't value himself enough.
He would live in people's comments on his body until it wasn't just coming from anyone else's, it was coming from himself. He mock his own body. He hates his own body.
