(911 fanfic - 7x04) Shots through the Heart

Shot 2: The one with the wizened Hen

Shot 2: The one with the wizened Hen

"Hen!" Buck grinned sheepishly as Hen opened her door to him.

"Buck...?" she answered in return, confusion lining her tone.

Then, before he could stop himself, he found himself blurting out the words, "I'm gay."

He had to stop doing that, allowing his mouth to work before his brain had a chance to catch up.

"Well hello to you to," Hen answered, her brow furrowing before she seemed to take a mental step back and held up hands up, taking a breath. "Okay, how about we start over."

Buck nodded at that, hands fidgeting at his sides, unsure of what to do with them.

"Hi, Buck," she said, exaggerated, as if leading a child through a conversation. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but why are you here?"

"I kissed Tommy... or he kissed me and I let him, and I may have kissed him back. No, I definitely... I definitely kissed him back."

Hen stilled before holding up a hand. "I think I'm going to need a drink for this."

"Oh, um," Buck started, looking down at his feet and around. He had put the bottle down somewhere and... there it was. He swooped down and picked up the bottle of tequila he had quickly bought at the store on his way over from Maddie's. He tried for a smile, but it felt awkward, as he presented the bottle to her.

She raised her eyebrow and took the bottle, stepping to the side and giving a gentle bob of her head to invite him inside. He took a took at the table as she moved off, returning with a couple of shot glasses. They made a light clink as she placed them on the table in front of him.

"So, do you want to tell me what's going on, or am I supposed to just guess?" she raised her eyebrow at him as he pushed the small glass toward her.

"I don't actually know," he admitted, toying with his own glass. "One minute we're in my apartment, 'clearing the air' and the next..."

"He kissed you?" Hen asked.

He downed his shot and nodded, chewing at his lip a moment before looking up and meeting her gaze. "The thing is, I... I didn't even realise I wanted him to until he did it. And I liked it."

"Sometimes that's how it is." She raised her own shot to him and then tossed it back. "Which I imagine must be a little confusing for you?"

"I like girls – women," he corrected, holding on his hand as he did so, aiming for respect. "Like, I really like them. I just never..."

"Realised it was an option to like both?"

"Is that what this is?" He felt so helpless and lost, looking to her with forlorn eyes. Hen always had the answers. She always knew what to say.

She placed her hand on his. "Oh, Buck, honey – you know I can't answer that for your."

"But if you could...?" He swallowed.

She sighed, a small smile slipping onto her face. "Then I would say I think you may be Bi."

He felt himself relax at that.

"Bi..." he repeated, and it felt true. It felt right. It felt like a missing piece to a puzzle he had been trying to solve for years. "Yeah, I think... I'm Bi." He felt almost giddy saying it out loud. "I am Bi."

"I'm happy for you, Buck, I am. I just don't want to see you hurt." She squeezed his hand gently.

"Why would I get hurt?"

At that, she cleared her throat a little, her eyes taking on a shine that told him she was thinking back to a time long ago. "I don't know... It's – it's been a long time since I really saw Tommy. If I'm honest, I don't think I ever truly knew him even when he was with the 118. Things were different back then, they weren't like they are now. We weren't..."

"A family," he finished for her.

She nodded.

"Which is why," she continued, pouring them both another shot as she did so, "that I feel obligated to tell you that I will be making sure Tommy knows that if he hurts you, not only do I know of several ways to kill a man and have it look like an accident, but I also know of many, many places to hide the body."

Buck watched her for a moment, almost hesitant to grab the shot, but a soft blush spread out across his cheeks at her protectiveness, small smile toying at his lips. "You know, you scare me sometimes."

"Good," Hen teased. "It'll help keep you in line."

It was another few minutes, and another shot or two later, before she spoke up again, a small laugh escaping her lips.

"I gotta say, of all the people, I never expected Tommy Kinard to be your first kiss with a man..."

Buck took a moment to process the words, a light frown tugging at his features. "Wait, you knew?"

She raised her eyebrows at him and held out her arms. "I like girls, Buck. Gaydar kind of comes with the territory, and I gotta say, it's rarely wrong. Besides, I've had to spend almost six years watching –" She came to a sudden stop, her lips thinning as her eyes widened a moment before continuing, her words seeming almost careful "—watching you turn into the man you are today."

"You mean seven," Buck said, pursing his lips as I tried to do the match in his head.

"What?" Hen asked, distracted as she focused on the tequila once more.

"I joined the 118 almost seven years ago. 2017, remember?"

"That's what I said, isn't it?"

"No, you said six. Six years ago is when Eddie joined."

"Well, I meant to say seven. I guess I got confused."

"Uh-huh," he answered, eyes narrowed on her, not entirely convinced, but he let it slide and took the shot glass she handed him.

"To discovering new truths," she said with a smile, holding up her glass.

He joined her in her toast. "To new truths."

"And hopefully the rest will eventually fall into place."