(911 fanfic - 7x04) Shots through the Heart

Shot 4: The one with a good date ending...

Shot 4: The one with a good date ending...

Buck wasn't sure what to expect from his date with Tommy. He had never been on that side of things before. He had never had someone hold the door open for him or pull out his seat or take care of the bill, like Tommy did. Like Buck usually would. He had been on plenty of dates where his companion went halves with him, or made small gestures that made him feel looked after, that made him feel like he was the one being pursued rather than the one pursuing. But with Tommy, it was so different.

He had butterflies, and Tommy eased the nerves in such a way that had Buck feeling young and inexperienced and new.

The guilt he felt at seeing Eddie had churned his stomach, but once he was sat elsewhere with Marisol, Tommy quickly and easily distracted Buck. So easily, in fact, that Buck found himself eager to follow Tommy's lead out of the restaurant, and he only barely questioned why Tommy parked his car several blocks from Buck's apartment, feeling a sense of trust in the older man.

There was a park near his apartment, with a small fountain that was lit up at night. He had never seen it before, never ventured inside, until tonight, when Tommy led him through it. The air was warm, but even if it wasn't, Buck wouldn't have noticed. He was far too flushed, unable to stop the smile on his face whenever his arms brushes against Tommy's.

Hands deep in the pockets of his jacket, he found himself fidgeting with the loose bits of material at the seams in an attempt to distract himself from questioning if he should be doing more. If he should be reaching out more, speaking more, flirting more.

He attempted to swallow his nerves before licking at his lips, throat tight as he spoke, or rather, babbled.

"Okay, so that was... terrible..." he started, speaking of their date, before coming to a halt and holding out his hand, still in his jacket, as an apology of sorts, "I mean, I was... not you. You were great. And I am not usually this bad of a date. At least, I don't think I am. I mean, I've never dated me before so-"

"Evan," Tommy interrupted, soft and understanding, that same smile on his lips and a deep glistening in his eyes, "you were great."

"I sucked."

Tommy laughed at that, a small and playful laugh, his words teasing. "Okay, maybe a little."

Buck aimed for a playful offended look as his heart skipped happily in his chest, the pair continuing forward once more, getting closer and closer to his apartment.

"But," Tommy continued, "as far as first dates go, definitely not the worst I've been on."

"Oh really?"

Tommy nodded, casting a side glance at Buck. "First time I went out with a guy, we didn't even make it inside before I threw up all over him. Always wondered why he never called me back after that."

Blushing and letting go of a small chuckle, Buck ducked his head a little. "Err... one of my first dates, I choked on a piece of bread. Ended up in hospital."

Tommy gave him a light slap to the upper arm, the touch sending tingles through the rest of Buck. "See, we're already making progress."

When they took those last few steps that put them at the entrance to Buck's apartment building, they both came to a stop and Buck opened his mouth, unsure of himself. "Well... this is me."

"It is," Tommy agreed, his eyes wandering over Buck in a way Buck found he enjoyed quite a lot.

"You know... you should come up." Freeing his hand from his pocket, Buck gestured with it as he spoke. "If you want to, that it. I mean, you did pay for dinner so technically I still owe you that beer."

"I'd like that," Tommy answered, taking a step closer bringing himself into Buck's space, and Buck swore he could feel his heart racing inside his chest in reaction to the heat he could feel from Tommy.

"Yeah, I'd like that too."

Nothing happened, except a couple of beers and some kissing that Buck felt extremely self-conscious about, but Tommy assured him he was fine, he was great even. And when the older man pushed up from the couch, pulling himself from Buck, he made sure to point out that he wanted this and he wanted more but he was going to leave before Buck felt pressured into more. When Buck tried to protest, Tommy kissed him once more, deep but gentle and pulled away with a promise in his eyes, and Buck wasn't used to seeing such restraint.

He was used to people wanting him for his body and taking whatever they could get of him, before leaving him wanting something more, something meaningful.

His skin still buzzed and heart still thrummed when he arrived for his shift the following Monday, that was until he saw Eddie in the gym. His stomach dropped at the sight, unable to stop himself from feeling like he had betrayed Eddie somehow, lied to him and kept him in the dark. It didn't help that when Eddie looked his way, there was a dark look in his eyes of what appeared to be barely concealed anger.

It took everything Buck had to drop down in front of Eddie, feeling sheepish as he did so.

"Hey, Eddie," he tried, aiming for a smile, but the cutting look he received from Eddie had him wincing.

"Hey, Buck," Eddie answered, but the words were hard and closed off as he brought his workout to a close and looked Buck over.

They stayed like that for what felt like too long, but finally, as Buck was trying to think of what he was supposed to say, Eddie spoke again.

"You lied to me."

Buck's chest tightened and he shook his head. "Eddie, I-"

"You told me you had a date. That was why we couldn't hang out."

And though Buck knew that technically he had never said it was date, he had also never corrected Eddie's assumption. After all, it was true. It was a date. He had been on a date with Tommy, and he had enjoyed it.

Buck tried to swallow at the lump in his throat. "I didn't lie."

"You know you could have just told me, right? Hell, even Tommy could have said something. But no, you let me think you were going on a date. Jesus, Buck."

"I was...." Buck said, pausing as he tried to stop his mind from reeling. "On a date, that is."

"Is this before or after you decided to hang out with Tommy?"

"I mean, technically during..."

"What?"

"It was Tommy, Eddie," Buck said, forcing the words out, his eyes locked on Eddie, pleading as he feared what Eddie would say, what he would do, and think. "Tommy was my date."

Eddie opened his mouth as if he was about to argue, but closed it again, frowning. But he visibly relaxed, body losing all the tension it previously held. "Why didn't you tell me?"

It wasn't an accusation, and there was no hint of anger there, and as Buck looked into Eddie's eyes, he felt safe.

"I don't know. I guess I was scared. You and Chris mean so much to me and I... I didn't want to lose that."

"Buck, there's nothing you could do that would cause you to lose us. Nothing." Eddie inched forward, making sure to hold Buck's gaze. "You know that, right?"

A small smile played across Buck's lips, his shoulders slumping, the weight that had been pressing down on them gone.

"Yeah," he said, his chest feeling light and heart feeling full, "I know."