I'm Not Crazy (ZaDR)

7

--A month later--

“HA! WORK MY HUMAN SLUG SLAVES!” Zim shouted. 

With Dib gone, taking over Earth was easier than Zim thought. Way easier. More boring yes, but it was satisfying knowing that Dib wasn’t fighting him because Zim had killed him himself.

Zim had built himself a throne, right where the Skool used to be. The place he had conquered first. 

His throne was built out of things the humans had said to be special to them. He sat on the top wearing a Burber King crown. He did research, and apparently these pointy pieces of gold are what rulers wore on Earth. 

He looked over the humans. They were building Zim a giant computer to call The Almighty Tallest with. They would recognize him now. No, not just recognize him. They would love him. They would see him for what he truly was. 

The best Irken invader-- no, no. The best invader the universe had ever seen.

Zim watched the humans carefully. Some of them he recognized back from Elementary Skool. One, the one he remembered to have three ponytails and big teeth, she hadn’t changed much. Some ginger kid… Keith maybe? No…

Zim swallowed. Part of him wishes he had kept Dib alive. Just so he’d be there. 

He cleared his throat. Why should he want Dib here? He stinks. He smells like human. And has a big head.

Why would he want someone like that around to stop his plans?

Maybe so that he’d see Zim fully defeat him

What if we ruled together?

Zim shook the thought from his head. No, they’d never rule together. Why would he even think that? He’d ruin all Zim’s plans.

If he did… Zim could always just kill him then… Or enslave him like the rest of the stink-humans. 

Maybe… Just maybe… How would Zim get Dib to forgive him for trying to kill him? He does it all the time, Dib will surely forgive him, right?

Guess he won’t ever know if Dib’s dead.

Oh well.

I wonder what’s for lunch…

“I’M NOT DEAD!”

What

 Zim turned around to see Dib on the ground looking up at Zim on his throne, his hands cupping his mouth as he shouted up at Zim.

“WHAT?” Zim shouted, not understanding Dib.

“I’M NOT--” Dib began.

“SPEAK UP! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” Zim interrupted.

“I’M--” Dib tried again.

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!” 

“YEAH, I’M TRYING TO TELL--”

“DID YOU SURVIVE SOMEHOW? YOU SURVIVED, DIDN’T YOU!?”

“YE--”

“DIDN’T YOU!?”

“I SAID--”

“DIDN’T YOU!?”

“YES!!” Dib sighed and looked down. “Damn, you have a problem with listening.”

Zim waited for Dib to look back up at him before saying “DIDN’T YOU!?”

Dib started to climb up Zim’s throne, not bothering to respond to Zim. “NO! GET OFF, STINK-HUMAN!”

Dib ignored him and kept climbing. When he got to the top, he leaned over, leaving his face inches from Zim. “I’m not dead, Zim.”

Zim blinked at him. He felt his face flush and he smiled, ignoring it. “I see that, Dib-worm.”

Dib knew it shouldn’t be his first response to a name like that, but he just wanted to kiss the green boy who’d just insulted him. The thought turned his face red. “Well-- Well, I--” Dib shook his head, attempting to clear it. 

“You’re too late, stinky Dib!” Zim interrupted. 

“What is with you and calling me stinky? I don’t smell that bad.” Dib said, smelling his shirt.

“You smell of human. It’s terrible.” Zim said, crossing his arms.

Dib sighed. “It doesn’t matter. Smelly or not, I’m going to stop you.” Zim reached over to press a button on the chair, and Dib grabbed his wrist. 

“GIR!” Zim shouted. The small robot jumped from the ground and onto the arm of the throne.

Dib looked at GIR, confused. “Wait, why is he small now?”

Zim cleared his throat. “It had a timer.”

“Why would you add that?” 

“Uh…” Zim pushed Dib off of him, and he fell over the edge of the tall throne, he grabbed the arm and dangled from the side. The throne wobbled, due to it’s height and unstableness. “Push him off, GIR! He’ll ruin our mission!”

GIR nodded, his eyes glowing red, he jumped and landed on the arm of the throne. He stood over Dib and poked at his hands. 

“GIR, no! Stop that!” Dib said, trying desperately to keep his grip. GIR stopped. Dib smiled, remembering how stupid the bot was. “Yes, yes, help me up!”

“GIR? Why has he not fallen yet?” Zim asked, annoyed.

GIR looked back between Zim and Dib, wondering who to listen to. Finally, he stepped on Dib’s hand, causing him to let go. His other hand started to slip and Dib began to panic. He looked at the ground. Surely a drop from this height would kill him. Dib tried to steady his breathing, but when he turned back GIR was standing, his foot hovering over his other hand.

“Answer me, GIR!” Zim said. He probably thought something was up. That’s why he didn't finish Dib off himself, Dib thought.

Which gave Dib an idea. Maybe this won’t be the end. He started to whisper to GIR. “Hey, if you listen to me, I’ll make you tacos.” GIR’s eyes turned blue and he clapped excitedly. Dib let out a sigh of relief. “Tell Zim that I fell.”

GIR saluted and then turned to Zim. “He fell, master!”

Zim smiled. Dib heard his footsteps come closer.

He let go of the throne.