I'm Not Crazy (ZaDR)

3

“This is your two hundred forty-seventh time calling, ‘The Tallest.’ Do you want to--” Zim’s computer  began, but  Zim interrupted it.

“Yes, call them again,” Zim said.

GIR sat behind Zim in Zim’s underground base, eating a muffin. He hadn’t said a word since the first call. Even though he wasn’t very smart, something told Zim that even GIR knew what the outcome would be.

The computer let out a sigh, and called The Tallest again. 

There was no answer.

“Maybe they’re busy,” Zim’s computer suggested.

Zim shook his head and started to pace back and forth. “No, they have to answer. I need to tell them about my brilliant plan!” Zim stopped pacing. “Call them again.”

“I really don’t think--” The computer began.

“Call The Tallest,” Zim commanded.

“This has been going on for weeks--”

“Now. You will listen to me.”

After a moment, the computer called The Tallest again. Zim wasn’t going to give up. He would call him a hundred more times if he needed to--

“What, Zim?” An annoyed voice asked.

Zim almost choked. The Tallest finally answered. He knew they would! “My Tallest! I’m sure you have a lot to get to after this, but I have to tell you my newest plan to destroy Earth! Just listen--”

“Is he serious?” Red asked, turning away from the screen to look at Purple.

“...I think so,” Purple said, then took a long sip of some drink in his hand.

“Of course I am--” Zim began.

“Should we like… tell him?” Red asked Purple.

“Probably. This is getting old,” Purple answered.

“Tell me what, my Tallest?” Zim asked eagerly. Maybe they had something to give him? Or maybe they wanted to tell him how great of a job he was doing conquering Earth? Or maybe they wanted to tell him--

“Zim. Uh, please stop calling us. We would have blocked you but that’s too much effort.” Red said.

Zim gaped at the screen. “Wha--”

“We hate you, Zim. You’re a terrible invader, seeing you fail to conquer such a small planet used to be entertaining… but now it’s just sad, Zim.” Purple said.

Zim swallowed. That can’t be right, can it? They’re surely joking, right?

“Don’t call again. You’re a disgrace to the Irken Empire.” Red finished.

“Wait, but my Tallest--!” Zim began, but the call was cut short. The screen went dark.

Zim stared at the blank screen for a while. The only sounds he could hear were the ringing in his ears and GIR loudly eating behind him.

Zim slowly turned to GIR, who smiled up at him. “Hi, mast--”

“You’re garbage.” Zim thought out loud. “You… you aren’t advanced. You’re trash. Given to me so that I would go away.”

GIR just looked at Zim.

Zim couldn’t take it anymore. He fell to his knees and grabbed GIR’s robot face in his hands and shouted at him. “You don’t get it! What I once thought was a gift from The Tallest… You…”

Zim threw GIR to the side. There was a loud crash as GIR hit the wall and then the floor. One of Zim’s robotic legs shot from his Irken PAK and the tip hovered just above GIR, who still didn’t seem to understand what was going on.

“My master is upset. Do you want a muffin?” GIR asked, offering his half-eaten muffin to the leg.

Zim didn’t respond. GIR continued to smile at him. Then the leg shot down, through GIR’s robotic body, causing sparks to fly.

He still had that stupid smile on his face as the lights in his eyes went out.