𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐎 𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐂𝐄; rigel wilde

iv. 𝐢 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮

TW! sexual content?kinda

ཐིཋྀ . ˚ ᡣ𐭩‧₊˚⋅ ✭ ₊˚⊹

I was fourteen the first time a boy kissed me.

His name was Elio and he was a few years older than me.

He wasn't an orphan, didn't live at the institute or had tragic family stories to tell. It was the first time I felt like a normal girl.

He looked at me when I was making my way back to The Grave and he was smoking in an alley with his friends, until one day, he came up to me and gave me a flower. A white daisy. I was thrilled.

He did that for a whole week before he asked me if I wanted to share a cigarette with him. I had never smoked before, but I've seen other kids doing it and it didn't look so bad, so I said yes.

He took me to that same alley he was always at, but it was just the two of us.

He lit the cigarette in his mouth and I thought 'he is so pretty', before he passed it to me. I cought it at first, but I didn't hated it.

Then he turned to me, said I was the prettiest girl he had ever seen and kissed me.

That day, I went back to the institute with a huge smile on my face. The first thing I did was to find Adeline and tell her everything in the smallest details. She said she was happy for me, but that I should be careful because he was an older boy, and could have more things in mind.

"Okay", I had said, even though I hadn't understand what she meant.

The next day, Elio was at his usual spot waiting for me, but he wasn't smiling this time, and I knew something was wrong.

He had a black eye and a cut smudged his lip.

He said he was sorry, but that he couldn't see me anymore.

He didn't say why and I didn't ask. I just said "Okay", and ran to Adeline's arms.

At dinner, I saw that Rigel also had a bruise in his face and wondered what had happened.

I didn't ask, but cried when I saw a white daisy crushed in my bed.

ཐིཋྀ . ˚ ᡣ𐭩‧₊˚⋅ ✭ ₊˚⊹

Slowly, I pulled off the blue Band-Aid. My index finger was still a bit swollen and red.
            
I had managed to free a wasp from a spiderweb a few days ago. I had been careful not to break the fragile weaving, but I hadn't been quick enough, and she'd stung me.
            
'Lele and her creatures,' the other children would say when we were younger. 'She's there with them all the time, among the flowers.' They were used to my peculiarities, maybe because in the institute, oddness was more common than normality.
            
I felt a strange empathy with everything that was small and misunderstood. The instinct to protect creatures of all shapes and sizes had been with me since I was a little girl. It had coloured my strange little world and made me feel free, alive and light.
            
I remembered Anna's words from the first day, when she had asked me what I was doing in the garden. What must she have thought? Did she think I was strange?
            
Distractedly, I sensed a presence behind me. I opened my eyes wide and my heart started to pound relentlessly at the sight of him.

I was utterly beyond fucked.

Rigel's hair swished as he turned to see me. I stared up at him, not knowing how to act after what had happened the last time we were alone together.

He was unphased by me. Not one emotion crossed his face. Was he fine? That made me feel even more pathetic.
            
He stepped past me into the kitchen. I heard Anna greet him, and my shoulders shuddered. Whenever he was near, I got the shivers, though this time there was an obvious cause. I had spent all day replaying what had happened the night before, but the more I thought about his actions and words – and mine, the more they tormented me.
            
Was I supposed to carry on as if nothing happened?
            
"There you are, Lele!" Anna greeted me as I cautiously entered the kitchen. I was still lost in thought when an explosion of colour, a fiery violet, flooded my eyes.