CHAPTER 4 - Estranged

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estranged /ɛˈstreɪn(d)ʒd/ — (of a person) no longer close or affectionate to someone

     Reinae found Levi in the basement in front of a boxing bag. When he wasn't in his office, training grounds, or on the wall, she figured he went to the cellars where they'd stored canned food and equipment. He went there only when dealing with emotions he couldn't or wouldn't verbalize, taking out his frustrations upon the boxing bag he'd hung on the ceiling.

     The sound of relentless punches echoed all the way to the top of the stairs. Reinae winced at their aggressiveness and slowly descended. She remained quiet, leaning on the stone wall when she beheld him in his sweatpants, shirtless, his hands wrapped in white bandages to prevent his knuckles from bleeding. He must've come down here directly after the meeting, considering he was already drenched in sweat.

     She watched him silently, her chest heavy with regret. Wishing she could tell him about Erwin's plans was pointless. She couldn't—not yet.

     Levi suddenly stopped, leaning on his knees. He breathed heavily, and she could swear she saw a faint glow around his eyes that made her tense. A curse he'd muttered to himself through clenched teeth almost made her approach him, but then he cursed loudly and punched the bag with a mighty swing of his body, making it fly off the hook into the wall. Reinae winced, fear settling into her. He couldn't be that mad only from what she'd said about Isaac. She started contemplating leaving, the determination to face him drifting out of her, but he had already turned, his eyes now resting on her. She became rigid, her fingernails digging into her palms.

     "I'm sorry," she let out in a strained voice. Why is it so goddamn hard to apologize?

     Levi watched her for a moment, then averted his gaze and walked to the big wooden boxes where he'd left his shirt and towel. He calmly started unwrapping the bandages from his hands.

     "For lying, deceiving, or saying you'll fuck another man?"

     Reinae visibly winced.

     "All three, I suppose."

     "You suppose," Levi calmly repeated, still not looking at her.

     She made herself move towards him, carefully, like a mouse to a sleeping cat. Her mouth opened again and again, only for her to close it, unable to find words that would calm the storm brewing within him.

     "Do you have any idea what you've done?" His voice was so quiet and cold it made her shiver.

     "I don't understand why this upsets you so—"

     "Because you've practically signed a death wish, Agnar!" Levi raised his voice suddenly, making her step back when his grey eyes snapped to hers. "Being a solo warrior?! A captain?! It all makes you hundreds of times more likely to die! Not to mention whatever crap you and Erwin are planning, which, I assume, will put you in even more danger!"

     She blinked. He was... worried about her.

     "And what pisses me off the most is that you leave me in the dark! What am I supposed to do when I can't keep an eye on you during missions and will wonder if you're lying wounded or dead somewhere—"

     "I don't have a choice, Levi," she said, her voice thin.

     "Like hell, you don't! There's always a choice. And you chose to get yourself into another mess, and you keep choosing not to tell me anything!"

     There was desperation and powerlessness in his eyes. He leaned on the box, his head dropping between his shoulders. The guilt in Reinae's chest spread to every inch of her body. She could see he was running out of patience. She wanted to touch him, to reassure him, but she knew better than to give empty promises. She leaned on the wooden box opposite him, looking at how his back shifted when he took a deep breath.

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