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Nora ran a hand through the silver tendrils that framed her face, heaving a sigh.
To be honest, she felt jealous of the night sky at that moment. The darkness inside her was just like the night sky, if not more dark, but at least it had stars that lit up, stars that made it beautiful, something worth looking at, something worthwhile– something she wanted to have in her life.
Once again, sleep had betrayed her– the memories that she locked away every day in the darkest corner of her mind, unlocked themselves at night, clawing at the very wounds she wanted to seal away. The result– was the dark circles she had to hide everyday and the records she broke because of not sleeping.
Insomnia.
A rating of solid 0/10.
Would not recommend it.
The soft wind hit her face, her hair swaying with the winds while she leaned on the cold railings– a stark contrast to the fire burning within her. Earlier this day, she finally completed all the formalities to become an official Avengers member.
She should be happy.
She glanced at the city sprawled below, the neon veins of New York pulsing with life. The city that never sleeps, where traffic and people still bustle around the streets and the corners of shops, even at late hours. The Avengers–the mightiest hero of planet Earth, she had been able to join them, alright. But now doubt plagued her mind like an unwanted parasite, sucking on whatever happiness she should be feeling. She wondered if she even deserves to be in such an honorable place after what she had done.
Sure, she felt good when director Fury told her she would be joining the heroes' team, the one who would help her destroy that base if she would comply with the conditions laid down by Fury– but somewhere in her heart, she knew she didn't deserve to be here or anywhere near happiness, to be honest. Not after she had snatched away that blissful feeling from so many people.
Her past had been a labyrinth of shadows, and she had walked a path stained with blood– once she had been in denial, refusing to acknowledge that she had indeed done all that. But that fantasy had shattered the moment she had stepped in SHIELD headquarters, when she had become a member– an important one if she might dare say, it had shattered since the moment she had seen the disdain in other's eyes, her loyalty being questioned– even when she really didn't have anywhere else to go, and they knew that.
Then again, it wasn't like she blamed them for thinking so. Her thoughts had been on that same path more than once, thinking even if she could trust herself.
But it never made that hurt any less.
"Leave me, please," the man begged, his face bloodied and cloth tattered, unshed tears welling up in his eyes, "My wife is pregnant, please, I-I would do anything they want– please- she-... she doesn't have anyone other than me."
