She's Worth It

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

Alright, I was up until 2 am writing the first three chapters last night but now it's morning and while I want to work on other stories, I'm stuck on wanting to work on this one. WRITERS BLOCK SUCKS!!!

Maya wrapped an arm around her and pulled Andy into her. "There's no words I can say to make this better, I know, but let me be here for you, okay? As long as you have this burden on your shoulders you need at least one friend with you." Maya felt Andy nod into her and that's when Andy just broke down. Maya tightened her arms around her and held her until her breathing slowed and just continued to hold her, even when the tears stopped. Both women were content in the way they were sitting when they heard the door open. They both looked up in panic, Andy wiping the tear tracks off her face when they realized it was just Carina. Maya sighed and looked up.

"What the hell is going on?"

Maya looked down at Andy and back to Carina. "I...um" Maya looked back down at Andy and saw her nod. "Andy's been demoted," Maya told Carina and Carina looked at Andy and without a word just sat down on her other side. Carina silently but carefully wrapped one of her arms around Andy's shoulders.

"Have either of you eaten?" Carina asked and looked at Maya.

Maya shook her head, "Not since breakfast." Carina nodded, that was a few hours ago.

"Andy?" Carina tried to get her attention. "When was the last time you ate?" Maya and Carina both felt Andy tense.

"Andy" Maya tried, and Andy looked at her. "When did you eat last?"

Andy sighed and looked down. It took a moment but they both watched her shrug. "I don't even remember," Andy said, ashamed, she knew she should be taking better care of herself, but she's just felt like throwing up since she walked out of Ross' office two days ago. "I just can't get myself to eat."

The married couple look at each other and Carina back at Andy. "Alright, I'm gonna grab you an orange and let's just start there, okay?" Carina saw Andy give a small nod, so she got up and went to the beanery while Andy stood up and started pacing. Maya just let her, giving her space. She knew what it was like to lose those captain bars and she couldn't stand to see that the same thing was happening to Andy. The one woman in the department who deserved this more than anything. Maya opened her mouth, about to speak when Andy beat her to it.

"I'm sorry, Maya." Maya looked at Andy, confused as to why she would be apologizing right now. "I was a horrible person to you when you made captain and here you are being my biggest cheerleader." Andy stopped pacing and turned to Maya. "I am so sorry. You deserved so much better than what I did to you after you became captain." Andy told her, standing still, arms now wrapped around her own stomach.

Maya's eyes softened. The fallout from the team after becoming captain had hurt so much. She only had Carina to lean on and back then she barely knew her. Maya stood up and stood in front of Andy.

"Andy, I forgave you for that years ago," Maya told her, going to rest a hand on Andy's shoulder. But Andy stepped back. "Andy," Maya looked at her concerned. "Look, the past is the past, okay? I was sad and mad back then, but everything was still so new." Maya tried to reason but Andy shook her head.

"No," Andy said, and Maya frowned, neither woman noticing Carina was standing in the doorway. "I was horrible to you." Andy shook her head and laughed. "God, you fucking cheered me on during the academy, you were with me for graduation when my dad wasn't, and you offered to be there for me even though I was being a bitch to you after Ryan died." Andy looked at Maya. "I was horrible to you. I was horrible to you, and I don't deserve you. I don't deserve any of this." Andy told her and continued to step back.

Carina wanted to stay silent and let the two friends talk but she saw from Maya's expression that she didn't know what to say.

"Alright, enough." Andy whipped her head around and Carina got to look for herself how Andy's eyes looked. They held so much emotion Carina was momentarily stunned. "Andy, we all make mistakes, we all say things we don't mean and regret later, but we can't stick on it, okay?" Carina walked in front of Andy, careful not to touch her but made sure Andy was looking at her. "What happened years ago does not matter as much as what is happening today. Which is you being demoted, the job that you wanted taken away from you once again."

"I took it away," Andy told her, voice void of any emotion. Carina looked confused so Andy sighed and explained. "After last shift, hearing that Vic might be fired, I went to Ross' office." Carina's eyes softened and looked at Maya, seeing the nod Maya gave her she had a guess as to where this was going. "I told Ross to use my cap-captains" Andy's voice cracked "Salary to help keep Crisis One alive and make sure that Vic stayed at 19," Andy told Carina. "I didn't get it taken away. I basically just fucking gave it away." Andy finished.

Carina stepped closer to Andy. "Andy, eat the orange." Carina practically ordered. "We can talk more later." Andy sighed, grabbed the orange, and peeled it. She stared at it, not wanting to eat. She felt overwhelmed with the two women trying to help her and overwhelmed from knowing she actually did it, she just pissed away her dream job. She felt the coffee she had this morning coming back up and she quickly threw the orange to Maya and ran to where a garbage can was in the turnout room and just threw up.