She's Worth It

Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

"Well, you all wanted to see that Andy was okay. And I assure you that she is but she will be going home and into bed until her next shift. So say "bye" quickly and then let her leave, please. Doctors orders." Amelia told them and one by one they came to hug her and wish her well. Vic was last and Andy wasn't sure how to feel about it. She was shaken out of her thoughts when Maya placed a hand on Andy's shoulder.

"Andy, I know you said this was your decision to do this, but..."

"She's worth it."

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It was the next day and Andy woke up in her own bed. She decided she wanted to go to her apartment instead of Maya and Carina's when Meredith was driving. Andy was wrapped around her comforter, feeling exhausted. She sighed and tried to sit up. When she did, a couple of minutes later the door opened.

"How are you feeling, Andy?" Carina asked, grabbing Andy the glass of water that was on the bedside table. Andy groaned. She forgot that Carina had stayed with her through the night after coming to her apartment a couple of hours after Meredith had dropped her off.

"Exhausted and sore," Andy told her before taking a sip of the water. She took the pain meds that Carina was holding out for her and quickly swallowed them. Andy looked up at Carina. "Thanks for staying with me."

"I didn't mind. Meredith and I didn't want to leave you alone. So, I figured it would be best." Carina told her, sitting down on the corner of the bed.

"Carina, I don't know what to do." Andy sighs and grabs the pillow from beside her and holds it to her chest. "Captain is my dream job, and I just gave it up. Yeah, It was for one of my closest friends so she could keep her job but it just...It just hurts, and I know I can never tell her because it would only make Vic feel bad." Andy ran a hand through her hair.

"I know I can't say anything to make this better, but..." Carina trailed off.

"Carina, nothing anyone says will make any of this better until I can get my job back," Andy told her, and Carina moved to sit beside her. She leaned against the backboard and gestured for Andy to cuddle into her. She just wanted Andy to know that she was there for her.

It was silent between the pair for what seemed like forever when Andy's stomach growled, making them laugh.

"I guess I should get up and try to eat something," Andy said, moving out of Carina's embrace and getting off the bed.

Carina followed Andy into the kitchen and watched as Andy grabbed some bread and put it in the toaster after asking if Carina wanted a slice too.

"Andy," Carina called and waited for Andy to look at her. "I hope this isn't too forward, but are you so protective of Vic because you have feelings for her or..."

Andy was taking a sip of coffee and nearly choked on it at Carina's question. "No. No." Andy was quick to answer. "When she was struggling with Dean's death and the unexpected pregnancy we talked, and we've just gotten closer since then. I was able to connect to her," Andy didn't miss the way Carina's face change into one of shock and just continued. "and I wanted her to know she wasn't alone. She had Theo, sure, even if she was unsure then, but I just needed her to know that I knew what it was like to have that pit form in the pit of your stomach." Andy paused and ran a hand through her hair. "I know I never talk about it, and you probably don't know, but I also connected with her because we've both gone through losing our best friends." Andy sat down on one of the stools near the kitchen island, looking down. "I know how hard it can be and even though it's been several years now, I still feel the weight of that loss every time something happens, and I want to share it with him. Ryan was my best friend, but he was also my other half." Andy let a tear roll down her cheek, wiped it away and then looked at Carina. "I haven't talked about him in forever." Andy chuckled, trying to laugh away the pain, not wanting to fall into the hole of depression from thinking about losing him.

Carina walked closer to Andy and pulled her into a hug. Carina wasn't expecting it, but Andy broke down into sobs. Carina just held her tighter. She didn't know how to comfort Andy with this. She didn't know anything about Ryan so she figured it would be better to just listen instead of talking.

"You know, I think my relationships never worked out because before he died he told me he loved me and yeah, I know I married Robert, and I did love him. I was in love with him but when I was grieving my dad and taking sleeping pills I kept having dreams about Ryan." Andy paused and pulled out of the hug, wiping away her tears. "I don't know if it's because I was in love with him, or if I just missed him, but those dreams had to mean something, right?" Andy asked rhetorically. "I mean, I was even wearing the dress I had worn to get married to Robert in the dream and Ryan and I kissed." Andy looked at Carina and could see the sympathy on her face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go on a rant."

"It's okay. I'm sure you've been holding that in for a while and I'm glad you felt comfortable enough around me to break down. I'm sure that's been a long time coming." Carina rubbed Andy's arm, trying to comfort her.

"You know, I don't think I even cried." Andy tried to think back to the days following losing him, the funeral, going back to work, and talking to her dad about feeling like a part of her was missing. "I was just so numb and so mad at the world, and I just, I was not coping well and then shortly after my dad died and I was crying every day." Andy paused, furrowing her eyebrows. "Thinking back, I think some of those tears shed were because of losing Ryan too but I don't know." Andy got up and walked to the toaster to take the toast out, the toaster having popped the bread out while she was crying and went to the fridge to get some jam to put some on her slice and Carina's.

The women sat in silence, eating the bread and drinking their coffee's.

"You know, you and Maya are constantly here for me." Andy looked at Carina, "Just know I'm always going to be here for the two of you too." Carina smiled back and nodded.

"I know, you've been there to talk to me about Maya a couple of times now and I know that I appreciate it a lot," Carina said.

Andy was about to respond when her phone rang. She picked it up and saw that it was Chief Ross calling her.

"Hi, Chief."

"Herrera, I have some good news." Andy looked up at Carina. "I found room in the budget."

"How?" Andy asked, a small grin forming on her face.

"Crisis One is no longer part of the SFD budget." Ross paused and Andy frowned.

"What? Why? You're getting rid of Crisis One?" Andy got up and began pacing, Carina watching her.

"No. No. No. Of course not." Ross tried to calm her down. "Andy, Crisis One is going National. We got a partnership with the Hudon Foundation," Ross told her, and Andy's mouth gaped open.

"Oh, my God." Andy stopped pacing. "Wait, is Hughes going to be running it?" Andy asked, wondering if she would be losing Vic. She had already lost Jack and Theo. She couldn't lose anyone else.

"No, Diane is going to because it's based in DC and since she's the only person who knows it as well as Hughes, She offered to go so Hughes could stay," Ross told her, and Andy's face broke into a huge smile.

"Thank you so much, Chief."

"Your captain bars and badge will be in your office for your shift tomorrow, Herrera," Ross told her, and Andy's smile grew "Congrats, captain."

Andy dropped her phone onto the counter and smiled. She turned to face Carina.

"Crisis One is safe, Vic still has a job, and now I'm captain again." Andy laughed, relief flooding her as Carina pulled her into a hug.