Maybe

Chapter 1

"I'll never let go,"
He told me as we were standing on top of city hall.
Holding my waist from behind, whispering in my ear.
"Never," I whispered back.

We were a fairy tail. He loved me. And I loved him. Very much.
We were inseperable.
Never appart.
Planning for college for filming and technical monitoring.
It is a passion of mine. Being behind the screen, being behind the camera.

His name was Nathan. We were together for a year and a half. I stayed with him most of the nights, and he'd come to my house for lunch or to go out for dinner.
I met him in highschool, in drama club. I helped with the lights and technical stuff.
He played the leading role in each play he tried out for.
The last few months there would be more and more fights. Us not speaking. Us making up for the sake of others. Until early Septemer, after about
17 months of being with him.
I was doing Youtube videos for the past two years.
He thought they were taking up to much of my time and that I wasn't spending enough time with him.
I cut back on them.
That went on for a couple more weeks until one night when I came home from the store.
He was red faced and yelling.
Yelled at me saying I was never going to make it. Never going to go anywhere in my carreer. In doing what I love. Telling me I'd never be good enough.
After all the yelling, myself with bloodshot eyes from crying and a headache from the screaming. Told him to pack up his his few things and leave.
He told me I'd regret it and on the walk out, grabbed my laptop and threw it in the pool. All my work was on there. All my videos, my programs.

The next day it was all over the news.
A car crash on the freeway.
It was Nathan.
Crying my eyes out, I couldn't move. I felt so empty and numb.
I wanted to be mad at him, but I just lost him. Forever.
If I could take that night back, I'm not sure that I would.
Yes, I'd reverse him getting killed, but not him staying.
That was 3 years ago, I was 18. Ending my senior year.
I've never let many people get inside my head. Never let them close after that.
But I had to go on.
To college, to fullfill my dream.
And in order to make it, I had to be social.
I met Bryan, a fellow filmer. He introduced me to others, and they're pretty amazing people.
Shannon is my best friend. I tell her everything.
I still haven't dated after Nathan.
Still scared and worried and scarred from him.
But, it's just something I have to cope with.