Maybe

Bed

Alex's POV

Jared came back that night knowing I made a mistake of letting him go before he got what he wanted.

We were lying in bed. Breaths heavy and bodies sweating.

He was kissing my neck as my body lays facing the ceiling.

Blank eyes staring into space.

Johnnie still on my mind. What was I doing? Why didn't I explain? Why am I in a strangers bed when I want to be laying next to the one I know.

Jared questioned why I wouldn't give back.

"This was a mistake. I shouldn't be here. I don't know you, You don't know me and I'm sure as hell you don't care to."

I left his house. Peeled out the driveway and straight home.

I strip my clothes and turn the faucet. Cleansing myself of the mistake I had just made. I stay in the shower longer than needed and stand in the steam. I step out and dab myself dry. Put on a fresh set of clothes and go lay in bed.

No notifications.

Should I call him? Should I text?

No. He won't answer.

At least he doesn't know what I did. If he did would he forgive me? Is there anything to forgive? Can I ever be his?

I get in the car. Rub my hands over the ice cold steering wheel. My hands already numb from the weather.

I drive. I drive to the safest place I could think. To the place where Johnnie has taken me several times. I steer to the side of the dirt road and get out. I walk in the crisp weather. Wind blowing my hair in my face.

I step out of my shoes and carry them in my hand. I feel the cold sand in between my toes and make my way towards the bank of the water. I sit where we sat those times before.
I sit where my lips were begging his to be locked with mine. For my hands to wind with his. For my forehead pressed against his own.
This is where I knew I wanted him.

This is where I stopped him.

And now this is where I leave myself asking why.