Eyes Don't Lie

chapter 24

Jungkook would regularly sponsor and donate for not only feasts but also to help in welfare programs, charities and whatever there was the imam told him about, doing these auspicious deed did made him happy and content but couldn't help with the fear and distress of termination of internship. He won't be able to see wafiyah as often and the thought of it futher sank his heart, he sighed a hundredth time "Jungkook-ah you don't look Good these days, is there something bothering you?" Jimin asked as he sipped on his drink "it's nothing hyung" he repeats the same sentence every time but jimin wasn't having it "jungkook do you not trust me anymore? Why are you keeping things from me. Do you not consider me your best friend now" jimin complained making him sigh again "jungkook please tell me what's bothering you you've been so distant these days I've noticed recently that you are lost somewhere in your mind" he further exerted "hyung" he bites his lips should he tell jimin? He thinks "I am in love " he disclosed looking at jimin to see how he reacts "that's a brilliant news kook, I'm so happy for you" he smiles encouragingly "then why are you upset about it?" He inquired. Jungkook looks down at the glass, the bubbles were almost vanished "she's a Muslim " jimin smile gradually fade away "that too a practicing Muslim, she said there's no future for us and that I should move on" he takes a sip to reduce the burning sensation left after uttering the last word "hyung, I can't, I wish I could show you my heart so you could see for yourself that I can't live without her. She likes me too I know that but her religion doesn't permit a believer to marry a non-Muslim. She is so dear to me I don't have problem becoming a Muslim but she said it has to be purely for the sake of God and I must admit wholeheartedly without any doubts concerning their beliefs " he chugged the remaining drink in the glass down "but my heart and mind stops whenever I think about Islam or learn anything about it" Jimin was listening attentively without interrupting and it hurt him to see his brother like friend so broken and helpless. He didn't know how to help him so he just watched him down another glass then another, he felt useless it was indeed a complex matter which couldn't be fathomed and resolved in one sitting. Jungkook stood up wanting to leave, the place was giving him even more anxiety "thank you for listening to my sob story, bye jimin " jimin also got up and grabbed Jungkook coat from the chair as he walked away without waiting for his response "kook don't worry we'll find a way, don't feel depressed and alone I'm here and will do everything I can" they walk toward Jungkook's car, jimin insisted on driving and Jungkook let him he was already very tired.
"What does Islam say about drinking?" On his next meeting with imam he asked who closed some Islamic book he was reading "I'll ask you a question " jungkook nods "what does alcohol give you, what do you feel after having it?" Imam asked, he ponders for a moment thinking what could be a right answer "it make me feel light and decreases my problems, eases my mind" imam nods "alcohol doesn't do any of that you know, it just temporarily subdue your ability to think and logic, it gives you the illusion that your problems are nonexistent, it provide you solace in disguise of fool's paradise. It gives you what you want, an escape but for how long but Islam is a religion of logic and consciousness, it doesn't give you loopholes to avoid a certain situation, these little problems in fact are for our learning and understanding, they develop our thoughts and personality. Islam doesn't give you false fantasies or illusions, it gives you what you need rather than running away from a difficulty take it as a challenge consider it a test and blessing and endure it with great patience and see how miracles happen" imam explained thoroughly he could simply say it's not permitted but he forced on the concept of its prohibitions instead of the tag. Jungkook looks at him ashamed "I've been drinking quite alot these days, I shouldn't make excuses but I want to stop thinking about what will happen, I am in anguish and pain which isn't going away" his eyes stung at the confession "I understand my dear son, you're in a position where you can't seem to find peace and solution to get out from it. But drinking will push you further into depression and addiction, you will lose yourself, your identity even your love" his heart almost dropped at the last word, he shook his head animatedly "i-i'll not drink again, I don't want to lose her never i can't " his words were rushed and panicked "Hey, hey calm down, I'm just telling you the implications don't stress too much keep improving yourself and by the grace of Allah, you'll find the light. The light after which you won't need any drink to shut down your mind, no cigarettes or drugs to escape, it will make you feel as if you're in a vacuum, floating and light hearted. Your mind, heart and soul will be at peace, serenity and tranquility" jungkook blinked as he listened to him. Later that night he laid on his bed staring at the ceiling "will I find the light?" He thinks "will my heart be ever opened to digest and accept these beliefs?" "What if I never find the light, wafiyah will find someone like her and Marry him?" He felt a pang in his chest. There were only 5 days left, wafiyah was busy he had hardly seen her these days, she was slipping away from him trying to create a gap between the both.