Eyes Don't Lie

chapter 32

Exams had commenced and it wasn't the only thing that stressed wafiyah out, mingyu had been ignoring her and avoided her at all cost. He wouldn't even greet her, and if they did cross paths he would walk away as If they didn't knew each other. She tried to approach him and talk this over but he was not having any of it. Due to all of this matter she couldn't focus on her studies, her first paper didn't went exceptionally well, and she was afraid if this continued to happen she might end up losing her scholarship. Wafiyah thought of taking advice from Selena who wasn't surprised by mingyu's sudden cold shoulder, it was bound to happen but she didn't expect for it to happen so soon "wafiyah just focus on exams yeah, give him some time to digest this news. After all it's his right" she knew telling it to Selena wasn't a good idea but it was too late and she was too brutal. Their exams were over, and she thought finally she'll be able to talk to mingyu and solve this problem, so when she found him in the Cafe, she shot her chance. She took the seat across him, the action caught his attention. He looked surprised but regained his expressions and stood up "please mingyu sit down" she practically begged "please listen to me for once I request you don't walk away" he avoided her all this time because he knew he will never be able to stand strong in front of her, his persona will shatter just like how it was happening right now, those God damn eyes, he could never refuse anything to. He breathes sharply before sitting back "A-are you not going to talk to me now?" She looked so vulnerable and he hated it "I'm so sorry mingyu, please don't do this y-you can scold me take out your anger on me but not this" he saw the moisture gathered in her eyes but she blinked them "say something be as harsh as you can I wouldn't mind at all" he felt so helpless, why did jungkook had to come between them, why couldn't she fall for him instead of jungkook he thinks to himself. He had known about her liking for jungkook back when he overheard their conversation in office, why couldn't he move on why is he reacting now. There were so many questions in his mind "mingyu" he couldn't answer, he didn't have the answers so he got up and left.
Jungkook decided to visit his parents when the wounds were mostly healed and it didn't look suspicious, he had told everyone to not inform his parents and they agreed. He was about to drop a bomb on them and prayed they won't create unnecessary drama "Mom, dad" the were on dining table having their dinner "yes son" his mother smiles, he clears his throat "I've told you about reverting to Islam before, I wanted to tell you that I'm now ready for it" his father patted his back "Good luck son, I hope you'll stay firm on your Decision" "thanks dad" he looked at his mother "why jungkook tell me why do you want to be Muslim, you never were a religious person so why all of a sudden you want to change your faith?" "Mom please people's mind changes with time, we grow we develop in our thoughts it's not something that no one has ever done before" "but people don't do it for a mere employee jungkook, you're doing it because of that girl I met in your office and mind it jungkook that girl will not come to this house" he grits his teeth trying to stay calm "if a girl is the source through which I find my path then let it be, you've already disrespected her I'm my office, she has a name" she chuckles "I don't care, but that girl will not become your wife I have made this very clear. If you want to change faith go ahead but she will never come to this house" "I won't bring her here anyways, I'm a grown man, who works and owns an apartment she'll be with me" his father laughs at his response receiving a glare from his wife "I'll go out of my ways to not let this happen" she threatened "if you hurt a single hair of hers mom then you'll deal with my bad side" her face was red due to anger making the scowl even more intense "are you threatening your mother " she yelled "no mom, I'm not but just informing you about the consequences of your action don't bother her or even better stay away" he wipes his mouth with a napkin.
On weekend he went to itaewon to meet imam sahib who was delighted to see him "oh jungkook how are you buddy" jungkook smiles wide "I'm good" "it's been quite some days since you last came how's everything going" he brought him something to drink along with snacks "imam sahib" he breathes in "I think I'm ready to say my Shahada" the imam was taken aback at sudden confrontation but smiled "you think you're ready or are you actually ready jungkook?" The question wasn't what he expected "you see sometimes we take decisions in the heat of moment, we think that we're ready for it but then they doesn't turn out to be the best decisions with the passage of time" he looks at imam confused "it's not heat of moment decision" "okay let me make it easy for you to understand, will you revert to Islam if we for a moment forget that there's any Muslim girl you love, will you accept the beliefs as it is tell me" jungkook thinks for a moment, lately he's been more conscious of nature and it's patterns, if he sees something he does think about it through a religious perspective but has he ever thought of religion without somewhat connecting it to wafiyah, he doesn't know. He sighs his head started hurting by all thinking "jungkook " imam pats his shoulder "don't overwhelm yourself, take your time, this is one of the most prominent and exciting part of your life because your future will depend on it. May I suggest something to you?" Jungkook looks up at him "please do" "can you manage to visit here more often, I'll teach you the practical way of living as a Muslim, we'll do that for a month and then you can decide if you're ready or not" "it takes like 40 to 50 minutes to get here, so it's not a problem" "that's good then, I'll teach you and inshaAllah you'll have no difficulty I've faith in you. May Allah make this journey easy for you" "come on finish this food, you've lost some weight" he laughs but comply and both chat for some more time before he bid farewell.
Mingyu's result wasn't how his professors had expected it to be, the boy who got straight A's was falling behind but what confused the teachers more was his nonchalant behavior about it. He wasn't bothered by his grades as if they were his last concern. They called him in their office to counsel him and get to know the reason but his response was either very brief or no response at all. Whereas wafiyah grades were miraculously good, she thought it was only Allah's blessing otherwise she didn't expect to pass her exams. She was lying on her bed, her headache was getting worse "wafu baby" she hummed "you should just let mingyu be, he will move on eventually. Just let him go maybe it's a sign for you" wafiyah looked at her in disbelief "do you hear yourself Selena, do you have any idea how much I owe him. He was always there for me, I can't just forget everything and ruin our friendship. I don't have romantic feelings for him but he means to me, I've always trusted him never did he miss any chance to protect me. The world doesn't revolve around feelings only there are other emotions that are way too respectable and precious. I care for him Selena, I can't take his cold shoulder he deserve to take his anger out but he just shut me off like that, I don't want to lose him" she rubbed her eyes with the back of her palm, the guilt wasn't letting her live normal life, she was angry at herself why did she fell in love, she was here to study why did she got herself into trouble "Hey I understand don't worry he'll come back, he will understand that feelings aren't in our control. You're just not the wafiyah you used to be these days, and it's concerning you hardly contact with your family, skipping meals falling behind in studies, this isn't fine" "I hate myself Selena, I am the cause of their pain either physically or emotionally. I will never forgive myself for that" she sobbed in her hands and the sight was heartbreaking, Selena felt so useless in the moment all she could do was engulf her in her arms and let her cry her heart out.
Mingyu was in his apartment smoking, the ashtray was over flowing with burned out cigarettes. He felt miserable not because of studies or grades, he was wretched due to avoiding her and shutting her off completely. He sighs as the smoke burn his insides "gyu what are you doing to yourself " Jennie had never seen him like that before, the sight was new and very scary to her "stop it please" she begs but he stared at ceiling "you know Jen, she was going to confess to me that she love jungkook" as soon the words left his mouth, a bitter taste spread all across his mouth "I can't go in front of her because I'm scared she'll say those words. What if she marries him, I won't be able to see that day Jen, I-i think I'll die" Jennie bites her lip nervously her eyes stung at her best friends state "gyu, if you continue like this you'll eventually get yourself there. She can't be yours just move on you'll find someone better" he chuckles "someone better?" He looks at her "I want her and only her Jen, I don't want a better replacement of her because there's none" Jennie tried to snatch the pack of cigarettes and threw it away from him when he was reaching out for another stick "I hate him so much, he took her away from me" He fumes with anger "mingyu he didn't force her, don't lose your sanity" "Jen I am so frustrated, I am avoiding her which is a torment for me, what should I do to stop feeling like this" "talk to her, tell her what you feel and if everything went well continue to be friends if not then move on" he looks at her, she was saying it as if it was the most easiest thing to do. He got up and walked to where the pack of cigarettes was lying on the floor, lit one stick and went to his room.
Jungkook's life as a Muslim in a practical way started by imam teaching him how to perform ablution, he taught him the meaning behind every action then he would lead the prayer while jungkook followed his movements. He had no idea what the imam was saying in between those actions but as instructed he just stayed silent and listened attentively. "It's so hard to pronounce " jungkook pouts as imam made him learn the phrases he use in Salah "but you've a brilliant mind I'm sure you'll learn them in no time" imam like always would encourage him. In a week time jungkook was able to get a grip of performing ablution, and learned the movements but he was struggling with the Arabic language "what will we do next?" He asked after completing his Qaida lesson, imam laughs at his eagerness "there are five pillar of Islam, Shahada, prayer, fasting, hajj, zakat. The next mission is fasting, we will fast and I'll teach you what should we do and refrain from during fasting" he nods "but Shahada is first one why did we skip to second " "that's because my dear friend, the process of experiencing the rest of 4 will make you crave for the first" "and it'll be independent and conscious decision making process with or without your personal desire to marry a believer " he nodded understandingly it made sense to him "as you wish sir" "but wait what do you call teacher in Arabic?" "We usually refer to them as sheikh or Ustad" "okay then sheikh, see you in the next lesson remember me in your prayers" imam smiles at him "inshaAllah jungkook, may Allah fulfill all your desires" "ameen ameen" both laugh at his goofiness.
Wafiyah was winding up her stuff after the last lecture of the day, she had to add some points to her notes before she could forget them, while scribbling she accidentally dropped her pen "Ya Allah" she tuts and bend down to pick it up but someone was already on his knees picking it up, her eyes widened when she saw it's mingyu. He extended the pen toward her and kept sitting in the same position "take it wafiyah, I'm not proposing you and this is not a ring" embarrassed she grabbed the pen thanking him. She kept looking down didn't know what to say as he finally decided to approach her. Mingyu got up and she thought he was leaving "I'm not going anywhere let's talk" they went to one of the grounds lnside their university and sat across each other on benches "you know why I'm avoiding you?" He starts with a difficult question, wafiyah nodded hesitantly "I'm scared that's why" he answered his own question making her look up in confusion "I got to know about your liking for him back in the office, I overheard your conversation" she gulps nervously, feeling embarrassed and exposed "but I don't want to hear it from you wafiyah, it won't be able to take it" he sighs tiredly but soon his mouth form into a sad smile when he sees concern swarming in her eyes "did you reject me before liking him or afterwards?" "I never rejected you mingyu, you have a special place in my life that no one else can take. I don't just like you but also feel so grateful to have you, I care and respect you immensely. I will always trust you more than anyone else just because you've earned it all from the very start. Loving someone in romantic way isn't the only emotion there's more than that mingyu and you mean alot to me" she rants out in one breath, should he be happy to hear that or not he didn't know "please forgive me, I am very ashamed to be the cause of your heartbreak this guilt will go with me into this soil and I have strong belief that sooner or later I'll be punished for it" he frowns "are you mad" he says with Hint of annoyance, she blinks her tears away "I have this feeling you know mingyu, deep down I know that I'll have to bare the consequences" "No you won't, it will take time for both of us to adjust in this situation but life's like that" she looks at him "don't shut me off mingyu" he chuckles shaking his head "do you remember when our first encounter happened and you freaked out about my staring and we had to sort it out" wafiyah nodded "I said exact same thing back then" "I listened to you then now it's your turn" he breathes in "just let me do it with my pace " "only if you promise me that your pace wouldnt be slow" " you're so stubborn aren't you" "I learned it from you mingyu" he smiles weakly. Mingyu had to take this step and now that he has he was feeling better than before, he couldn't see her being gloomy and spacing out in the middle of lectures, worrying her because of his behavior was the last thing he wanted to do.