The Book Of You & I (L.S.)

(Chapter 1: Harry Styles)

-Louis's POV-

-2020-

Harry Styles.

Hearing that name hurts. It hurts bad. It doesn't hurt because I'm still hurt over Harry Styles, definitely not. It hurts because it brings back the memories I had with him. They were good memories, but they aren't good for me to hang onto.

"How's he doing?" He asks. "You know I don't talk to him, Niall. I've moved on from him." I say, avoiding eye contact.

I have moved on from Harry, I'm not avoiding eye contact because of that. I'm avoiding eye contact because even though I've moved on, It doesn't mean that I forget about what I did to him. I was awful and I know that. He deserved so much better than me, but when you're in love you don't care about the pain.

"Well, have you talked to him at all since...everything that happened?" He knew it was a sensitive topic with me, yet he continued to bring it up again and again. "No, I haven't." I say with a sigh. "Well, geez mate, it's been what...how many years?"

"Five." I take a sip of coffee. "Damn, you should say something to him. I mean, Louis, you two were in love! I could barely get time alone with either of you! I don't understand why things didn't work. I mean Harry he's–"

"That's enough, Niall. I really don't want to hear about it today. I can't take it all." He scoffs at my words, "You're gonna have to face it eventually, Tommo." He turns away to the window and shakes his head as he takes a sip of coffee.

I don't care how long it takes for me to get over it.

I try to keep it in the back of my mind, out of my head, but it's always there. I think about it every day, and I don't see myself stopping anytime soon. I also don't see myself ever talking to Harry again. I mean, what would I say to him? 'I'm sorry I was a lying bastard who didn't deserve you'?

I sigh again and turn back to Niall. With the last sip of my coffee I say, "Well, Niall, it's been fun catching up, we really have to do this more often." He nods in agreement.

"I should get going, I gotta fix dinner tonight. Tell me next time you come into town, alright? It's nice seeing your stupid little face." He just rolled his eyes, "I'll see ya later, Lou." He gives me a tight hug and a pat on the back before we walk our separate ways.

It's always nice catching up with him. He moves around a lot because of work and is hardly ever home. He doesn't bring up Harry regularly but when he does is about when our conversations end.

After everything with Harry, me and Niall kind of went our separate ways. I think he stayed with Harry for a while but eventually they split too. Me and Liam are still quite close, which is nice. He's a therapist, so he tends to help me out a lot with things.

I get into my car and turn on the radio. Thankfully it's a song I like. I mumble along to it on the way back to my house and sigh when I pull in. I sit in the car for a second, not wanting to go inside.

The longer you wait the worse it will be.

I take a deep breath before getting out of the car and walking up to the house. I unlock the door slowly and walk in even slower.

The whole house is dark which isn't surprising since it's about 8:00 and Zayn doesn't like light. There's only one lamp on in the house which he only keeps on at night. "Zayn? I-I'm home!" I say, hesitantly. He was kind of mad at me when I left this morning. I can't imagine what he'd be like now. "Zayn?" I ask again.

"Louis!" I hear him shout from the bedroom. "Finally home, I see!" He says walking out with his arms outstretched for a hug. He wraps them tightly around me and I hug back ever so slightly as to not make him mad.