letters in the box

for when you forget

This chapter is for a special little someone. It's very personal, and very tragic. So be prepared, to shed a tear or two, I know I did. But I just couldn't help it.

He'll never read this, and I know I don't have the guts to ever show hm, but I'm going to get my feelings out. . And I give you permission to send this to your special someone.
Make sure they know they're special to you, before it's too late. Trust me, it comes out of nowhere. Tell them now. You love them and you're crazy about them, and without them in your life, you're lost and confused.

Welllllll, I can't procrastinate this any longer. I've been staring at my computer screen for exactly nine minutes. Troubled with the thought of putting feelings into words. It's really not that easy. 26 letters in the alphabet, all laid out in front of me. But no words come to mind to start this little journey. I can't bring up memories, that's too hard, but it's to easy, because there's so many. We always had the best of times, me and you. Memories leave a bitter taste in my mouth, and I know they'll stain a hole through your heart, so I'll just try to steer clear of our precious moments together. But keep them close to you, they're too important to ignore.

How do I even start? I miss you? No, that's too simple. He'll think I'm just saying that just because; but I actually mean it. I miss you in the way, my bed doesn't look the same without you next to me, it's empty and so am I.
I miss you so much, I make a double batch of eggs and I even pour you an extra cup of coffee, waiting for you to return home, to me, and we'll enjoy sweet breakfast together. Sometimes I make your favorite pancakes, saving all the blueberries and strawberries for you. I let the whip cream melt all over the waffles, and I regret it later.
I miss you so much that my body craves your touch and my ears crave your voice, even if it's just your laugh or a sarcastic remark, I need to hear you again. It's slipping from my memory, that raspy cry and manly laugh. If I can only just grasp onto it longer.

How do I start telling him that I still love him? That I never stopped and I never plan to, because you can't love someone that much and just drop it. Does he even know how hard it is to love someone the way I loved him? It seems nearly impossible to forget that kind of love, and the idea that I should forget that makes me want to check myself into a mental hospital. I will never stop loving him, and if I ever do stop, it was my dying day.

What would I say next? I hope we meet again? Because I can't say that, I can't meet up again. That would kill me. As much as I miss him, and his strong presence, it would break me into a million pieces if he had to leave again. And we would fight. Because  I wouldn't let him leave again.

I wish you could read my thoughts, hear everything I'm afraid to admit.

I couldn't let you leave me again, because a love like us doesn't just go with no turning back.

I wish there was a second shot, another chance...so we could be us again, without all the heartbreak or all the sorrow and sadness of anything ending. But it would come to an end, again. For we don't belong together, and it pains me to admit that, because I want to belong together. I want it to be you and I forever, taking on the world. But it will never be like that again. And I only hope you find a love so strong again. You never did anything wrong and you deserve another chance. Just not with me.

Just don't forget what we were, and our love, because at the time it was the greatest connection of two people ever in history. We were beautiful and inseperable. We were the goal of all couples. We were just too good to stay good. Just don't forget this, us, and me. Don't forget me.
And I'll never forget you. My ever lasting love.

I'll end with the sweetest goodbye, and a little wave, to say thanks for everything that once was us.