live fast, die young ~ minsung

001.

i was in the winter of my life,
and the men i had met along the road were my only summer.

at night i fell asleep with visions of myself,
dancing and laughing and crying with them.

;

he waited mindlessly at the bus stop. the cold air freezing his thoughts, leaving a hollow feeling in his head. or maybe it was the lingering effect of alcohol coming into play, blurring the lines between real and the fake.

he glanced around the quiet street that he practically saw every day, gentle fingers tracing invisible patterns on the uncomfortable metal bench of the bus stop. his mind travels far, back to the first time he ever took the bus in this forsaken town. he remembered being nervous, getting on with shaky hands and a hesitant, timid smile.

the dim yellow light hues across the park distracts him for a long moment, pulling him away from the daze of reminiscing.
as if he got hit by a sudden wave of conscience, the smell of old cigarettes and the dainty faded smell of urine invaded his nose all at once.

his face grimaced, nose scrunching to blockade the smell away. it was chilly, he shivered under the cold touch of the nightly spring wind.

he had come from a party not too far away. having promised his mother that he would be back by eleven, it was now approaching one in the morning. his phone was dead, his friends said their goodbyes to him ages ago.

'when is this bus even coming?' he sighed. a slight feeling of unease taking over him for a slight moment at the unavailability of tracking the vehicle on his phone like he usually did while waiting for the bus.

his mind felt clouded, his heart beat was confusing, yet he found comfort in the deep night. his eyes looked up pitifully at the dark cloudy sky that covered up the beautiful stars casted above, cracking the joins of his fingers out of habit.

a few more minutes passed, silence.

until it was broken, causing him to slightly jolt up on the metal bench he was still sat on. a sore feeling on his ass slowly developing from the cold and dull material.

obnoxious chatter consumed the silence that he previously was surrounded with, familiar voices that he knew too well to ignore.

his head sharply turned to the side with alarmed eyes, people were actually leaving the party now.

upon recognition of the loud and annoying voices that came to disturb his public peace, his eyes rolled on command. it was the same people he saw practically everyday at school.

he huffed and turned away, but confusion hit in his mind as the voices walked closer to him.

'they never come this way...what changed?' he wondered, eyes darting back and forth between the approaching group of boys drunkly laughing and yelling.

it wasn't the first time he had come to a party at this exact street. and every time that same group always left in the opposite direction.

the boy couldn't fathom why.

"wait, is that han jisung?" the said boy flinched at the mention of his name.
"no way, it is! is he actually sat out here like a loner? swear he was drinking like crazy few minutes ago..." brainless. they all were, to jisung at least. but it would be hypocritical to not consider himself brainless too.