Why want me dead?

Fragments (pt 1)

My body began to hurt. I could feel my innards shake violently as my muscles spasmed. Why?... This feeling is so offputting. I know them and they know me. Mon and Dad, both of whom are currently staring at me, I can't tell what the expression is on their face. But it makes me angry, who the hell is controlling fate like this?!

Shin stared at the two humans standing behind the panel, holding each other's hands as they stared at their child. The woman approached the glass, a look of discontent on her face as she placed her palm on the window. "Son...It's you."

I can't help but ignore the pain as I clench my jaw so hard my teeth start to crack. My fists, squeeze so tightly they leak blood. My eyes narrowing down at the two who were responsible for everything that became of me. A sense of glee as I watch them stumble back, obviously intimidated by my presence. These bastards, they have the damn nerve to feel upset, to feel remorse after selling me.

The Mother began to speak, trembling as Shin's attention fell fully onto her, both his eyes glaring down on her. She struggles to voice herself as this dreaded feeling overwhelms her. But finally, she gains enough strength to pull herself through as she shouts. "Son! Let us fix you! We can be a family...Again."

These words, perhaps years ago. When I was still a child, desperately calling out for my beloved mother, my hero to come to save me. Maybe then, this would've worked. But now all I feel is disgust and hatred. I know it's wrong to harness such hate, to allow such violent thoughts to roam freely in my head. But to be honest...Why does it matter, what has driven me forward? I don't remember, not in this state. Who even am I? I don't care, do I? All I see, all I can imagine. Is the death and suffering of all those who had wronged me.

The lives of those who died in my arms, back at that hell. I no longer remember their faces, would they accept me for what I am now? How do I know they aren't like the rest? Is everyone...Everyone wants me dead, don't they? For me to suffer, to cry out in agony as my body gets torn limb to limb. I see it, the truth is so clear to me now. I alone, am the only person I can rely on.

The Mother and Father watched in worry as their son had become still, unmoving and expressionless, deep in thought. However, their only child began to glow vibrantly as he started to move. Inch by inch his eyes flared wide open, flashing a bright violet glow as he opened his mouth. His parents knew what was to come, and instead of fleeing. They both held each other's hand and stared at their firstborn son, accepting their fate.

No, what am I even thinking? Can I truly believe this? I...I know damn well that not everyone is my enemy. I don't know what's giving me these thoughts, but I know damn well that back at that hell, people who entrusted their memories to me. They are my family.

A shadowy figure emerged from behind Shin's head. their fingers wrapping around his face as the darkness took in his vision.

The sound of rumbling caught everyone's attention, even Shin. A large titan came through the wall, crashing into Shin. Shin fell back as a fist was thrusted into his face, launching him backward into the wall. His vision blurred as he looked at the person who should've been dead. He raised his arms trying to block the constant downpour of punches thrown at him. He gritted his teeth. Taking the titan by surprise as he whipped her with his tail, forcing her off of him and into the ground.

He unleashed a volley of flames that burnt the green giantess, charring her skin as she jumped back. Desperately trying to avoid the flames that spewed out of his mouth. Several vines wrapped around his face, and some tightened around his neck. The Titaness woman charged at Shin, thrashing him around as she stomped on his chest. Several modernized cannons emerged from the walls, all of which were aimed at Biolante. They started emitting a strange sound as they began firing off one by one at her. This distraction wasn't necessary, but it didn't go unnoticed by Shin. His eyes darted toward his parents, but they didn't leave. Not like they did before, no this time they stayed. And not only that, but they held what looked like a tablet. His eyes narrowed, he knew they were the ones who set off the cannons. More importantly, he knew very well that they were trying to help him.

But why? Why help me now, after all these years? You could've saved me, even if you saved me a year after you sold me. It would've been better than nothing. Better than waiting until I became a monster. I can feel it, my heart is beating. I feel hope, that maybe my parents are as bad as I thought. No, what am I thinking? I know very well they are wrong, who could sell their child? But...Do I care anymore? They proved to me that they finally care, they care! I've been longing for love for so long.

Shin felt a stinging sensation as he looked at his leg, Biolante had ensarred him with her vines. He got up, shrugging her off as he towered above her. Shoulder bashing her into the wall, he released a large wave of flames that engulfed the Kaijugirl. He ignored her screams as she clawed at his face. Finally, I can be reunited with my parents. He felt his body rapidly vibrating, his flesh fell apart, his skin...It was melting, he was melting. His dorsal plates crumbled as his tail fell off. He closed his eyes and allowed the darkness to swallow him. Emerging from the rotting remains, he stood out of the pile of flesh and stood silently. Naked but human once more.

His mother and father ran to him, squeezing him tightly in a hug as they embraced him. "I'm so sorry son." They both spoke out in unison as they cried. Shin smiled, embracing them back. He smiled, big and wide, love. He could never truly hate them no matter how much they hurt him. Because he has pure genuine love.

Shin opened his eyes as he looked around at everything. The death, the destruction. Was he in a dream? Did he fall asleep? Biolante wasn't there, the facility was destroyed by him. His parents, he glanced at the ground. A pile of rubble that had crushed the burnt corpses of his parents. He looked down at himself, seeing he was still a monster.

A single tear dropped from his cheek. A soft hopeless sigh left his mouth as he struggled to hold back his tears. "I-I'm..I'm sorry." He looked at his hands. Covered in blood, his blood. "I'm sorry, please." Flashes of memories ran through his head. Images of his past, his childhood. Before everything went to hell. He knew his parents were wrong, monsters even. He knew everyone he killed was deserving but. No, that's it. He let Behemoth burn to death. To allow someone who hadn't wronged him in any way to just die. He was no longer a victim, but rather a monster. He didn't deserve happiness and he knew that. "I want to die, I want to be with my mom and dad. Even if it means I end up in hell."

He looked up at the night stars that shined brightly in the sky. Shining through the collapsed roof, a brief moment of silence in a chaotic world. Peace, it was a shimmer of peace, and that made Shin happy. Yet, such happiness he knew he didn't deserve. It made his heart hollow, and guilt shrouded him. Shin, with all the strength he could muster. Letting out a cry that reflected his experiences. All the ups and downs of his life and, a message for the world. A challenge toward the world, that echoed throughout the night sky, such a roar that echoed throughout the planet. Heard by everyone, even those who were better off being oblivious to his presence.