Can I Ask You a Question?

9

I loved laying in his arms as he held me close to him and hearing the beat of his heart pounding in my ear as I pressed it to his chest. I had my hair done up into two long braids. We were lying on the couch together, and I had fallen asleep. At some point in the night, he had pulled me on top of him. I shifted a tiny bit to adjust my hips, and he held the back of my head comfortably. I was fully lying on top of him, and he was cuddling me. At first, I thought I was having sleep paralysis. I placed my palms on his chest, and he shifted my hair. I must have stirred too much because he woke up.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Cami." He said softly, and I shook my head.

"It's okay." I climbed off him quickly and sat on the couch next to him again.

"Do you think anyone saw us?" he chuckled, and I shrugged. I didn't think about Dean or how seeing me with Adam might hurt him. I frowned.

"I'm not sure."

"What's wrong?" He asked curiously.

"If Dean- saw us, he might have gotten his feelings hurt." I took a couple of long pauses, and my cheeks reddened the more I thought about it. Adam stared blankly at me for a moment.

"You were sort of a sore subject in our relationship," I explained.

"Is that why you didn't speak to me much when you were with him?" He asked me, his brows furrowed as he tried to piece it together.

I was so worried about Dean's feelings that I didn't process what I had admitted to Adam—soberly. I just told him that I liked him again but in choice words.

"Yeah. I hated every second of it, too."

"I don't want to screw anything up." He said quietly, and I just nodded my head slowly.

What did that mean?

"Care to elaborate?" I raise my eyebrow, and he smiles a lazy smile at me. He cocks his head back and mimics me.

"I don't want to screw up anything with you." He reaches for one of my braids and runs his fingers down it.

"I don't want to screw up anything with you either," I whisper. Adam held my gaze, and I couldn't help but get lost in his pretty brown eyes.

"So what should we do?"

"Try not to screw it up, I suppose."

"Do you want to go on a walk?"

He took a walk with me outside. It was that time of night when everything was silent except for the occasional passing car. There was an eerie glow from the street lights that made Adam glow himself. He looked so bright, so pretty.

I forget how particular wars are won and the battles that it takes to achieve the goal of winning them. I wanted to run to the opposite side of the trenches and kiss my lover, whom I was forced to fight against with my own inner thoughts. But I couldn't. I'm not so sure he told me he liked me back. He stood tall next to me and walked alongside me. His long coat brushed my thigh every so often. I had opted for my pajamas and my robe.

"Are you scared we're going to screw things up with our friendship?" He asked me. It felt like his voice echoed, but it only pierced the silence between us.

"Why would we? If we do, we do. That's just a part of the risk we would have to take." I took a long pause and continued, looking over at how his shoulders were hunched forward, like he was hiding. "Adam, can I ask you a question?"

He met my eyes, and I saw tears coming down his face. We paused in the street, and he looked at me but didn't break eye contact.

"Are you sure you like me like that? You do have the right to say no."