𝐄𝐍𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐘 | 𝟏𝟖+

44

Love's POV

Doctor Sloan Woods was sitting across from me, dressed in a dark blue pantsuit, and a notepad in her hand. She hadn't written anything yet.

Probably because I haven't said anything.

The office smelled like lavender and leather. A candle flickered on a small side table, but the light didn't reach the darkest corners of the room. I sat stiffly on the couch, hands folded in my lap, staring at the floor.

"Love," Dr. Woods' voice was. calm, practiced, like she'd done this a thousand times before. Like she already knew what I was about to say. "I know this wasn't your idea, but I'm glad you're here anyway."

I didn't respond.

She let the silence hang, but I could feel her watching me, waiting. I wasn't sure what for. A breakdown? A confession?

I took a breath, then let it out slowly. "My family thinks I need help." My voice sounded thin, like a string about to snap.

"What do you think?"

I finally looked at her. "I think talking about it won't change anything."

Dr. Woods nodded like she understood. "You lost someone very important to you."

My throat tightened.

"Do you want to tell me about her?"

She was everywhere. The memories, the laughter, the way she used to curl up next to me and hum a song she never remembered the lyrics to. The way she smelled like vanilla. The way she looked at me before she jumped.

I couldn't say any of that. I didn't have the words.

"I should've saved her." My voice cracked, and tears started to swell.

Dr. Woods' expression didn't change, but her eyes softened. "You tried."

"Not hard enough." I clenched my hands together, nails digging into my palm. "I promised her, I told her she'd be okay. And then I let her die."

I expected her to argue, to tell me I wasn't responsible. But she didn't.

Instead, she leaned forwards slightly. "That promise... it's been playing in your head, hasn't it?"

I swallowed hard. "Every second."

"Love, what if I told you that Blair wasn't holding you to that promise?"

I shook my head, my breath catching in my chest. "She's not here to tell me that."

"No," Dr. Woods said gently, "but you are. And right now, you're punishing yourself for something that was never in your control."

I looked away. The room felt smaller. My lungs felt smaller. I wanted to run.

"Love," she said softly, "what would Blair say to you, if she were here?"

My lips trembled. I closed my eyes, and for a second, I could hear her voice.

"I love you so much, Love. I love being your friend."

The memory of her smile—the last one—hit me like a wave.

I pressed my fingers against my eyes, as if I could push the pain back in.