Tethered Souls | Eren Jaeger

𝟬𝟳 Isolation

A/N (kinda important) ~ After such a long break from writing, I have decided to continue with this fanfiction as I've noticed that people are still reading it!! I am a full time student so I am quite busy and I will not be updating very regularly, but I will try my best to keep things consistent and clear. However, the storyline will be changing quite a bit as I want to stray away from the AOT timeline and kind of create my own events.

There were no signs of a struggle, the cell was simply left unlocked. The iron door was still ajar and, as heartbreaking as it was, I still felt Eren's warmth around me. The ghost of his presence still loitered in the bleak cell, through the new crack in the mirror and the wrinkles in the bedsheets. I should be furious with him right now, I told myself. He pushed me away so harshly, so suddenly, then left me here on my own.

I wondered what was going through his head in this moment. I still had a small glimmer of hope left in my being that he was thinking of me. That he was going to come back for me and tell me everything; but by the looks of things his heart was already a sufficient distance away from me. I felt a little weak as my hand gripped onto a cold bar of metal, feeling as if I was floating through space as my eyes zeroed in on the dusty mirror.

Time began to feel more like an inescapable whirlwind than a linear construct. I wasn't sure how many days had passed since Eren's escape, nor did I want to think too deeply about it. I tried hard to keep myself preoccupied from the shamefully doubtful thoughts about my closest friend; wandering around the quarters, offering meagre advice for the search efforts, all while staying glued to Hange's side like a stray dog.

The last nuances of hope had slipped away as I walked down the endless stone flooring to reach my new bedroom. I just couldn't miss the auburn-haired man in a Survey Corps uniform a couple meters away from the intricately-carved door. He looked slightly apprehensive to speak to me, but I reached the door slightly slower on purpose just in case he decided to spit it out.

"Y/n, he wants you to meet him tonight."

"He..?" I turned towards the man fully, noticing the distinct golden hue of his irises and the snarky tone of his nasally voice.

I'm sure I've never spoken to him, but he looks familiar, I tilted my head slightly.

"Eren," He spoke as if it were obvious, his head tilting slightly as he took a quick glance around us. "I'll bring you to him, alright? Don't tell anyone."

I felt my body heat up uncomfortably, letting out a soft breath as I took my hand off the doorknob. It wasn't anything like Eren to send a messenger for a quick meet up, but being warned not to tell anyone was an entirely different trouble on its own. I had been stumbling in the dark for about a week too long, and being so unsure about everything I had ever known was draining the life out of me. There was one aggressive suggestion, mercilessly crusading through my thoughts countless times. I had overheard Connie telling Jean not long ago, "I think it might be Eren against us". I hadn't spoken much to either of them since Sasha died, though I wasn't sure they minded. They probably viewed me as an extension of Eren, but not as a joke anymore. The thought bothered me, even more so because it made me so angry. If the possibility was so invalid then why did I catch myself thinking about it so often?

"Is he okay?" I asked, my bottom lip wobbling slightly into a frown.

"Uhh.. yes. Don't worry," He looked at me with a hint of annoyance. "Alright, are you coming..?"

I opened the door, grabbing my cloak from the cushioned armchair and wrapping it around my shoulders, trying to catch up with his fast pace. Apparently, travelling by horseback at this hour would be too conspicuous. The soldier walked sure-footedly, and I followed closely behind. The rich green trees were a welcome sight, even if they were almost engulfed in the dusk's shadows. I stepped over thick roots, trying to pay attention to my surroundings. I was thankful that Floch, as he called himself, didn't seem to be in a talkative mood. It was a great struggle to decide which question I was going to ask Eren first. Or whether I should be upset with him. I wasn't sure I had the heart to be, after feeling so isolated from everyone else, even though we had always lived behind the same walls.

Floch stopped at the edge of a small clearing, gesturing for me to keep walking forward. I thought I heard another voice, or maybe even two, as I approached a the tip of a small cliff. My eyes strained to make out the figure with its back turned to me. It was so silent that the gentle padding of my boots in the dewy grass and the fresh whistle of the air made me feel uneasy. The air quivered with an unusual energy.

"You're here.." Eren's voice prodded the silence gently. I almost didn't recognise him. The tail of his dark cloak ruffled menacingly as I stepped closer to him, my hand wrapping around his wrist without much thought.

"Of course I'm here.." I began, the hard look on his face making me contemplate whether I should be asking questions at all.

"I'm sorry, I know I worried you. I just.." His eyes left mine, darting around for a short moment. "I needed to see you."

"Our friends back home.. they doubt your loyalty Eren. They don't understand what's going on in your head. I don't believe that you laughed at Sasha's death, did you..? Tell me you didn't." My lips pursed slightly as I felt my eyes sting, my hand squeezing around his wrist. The words just spilled out of my mouth, all of my own subconscious doubts rising uncontrollably.

He looked at me with the same bleak expression, not even a slight frown forming on his lips. I let go of his wrist slowly, feeling instantly unnerved from his lack of emotion. Those wonderful eyes I was so used to stared at me for a few seconds too long.

"Y/n.." He let out a soft huff, his tone more assertive. It was clear he had been meaning to tell me something somewhat important. "They don't understand anything. They will never- never mind that, it's not important to me anymore. Do you remember what I asked you back in Marley?"

The way he spoke about it made it seem like something significant, for both of us. Somehow, it all felt so familiar, the memory he spoke of; belonging to a cluster of opalescent stars, the most special experiences of my life, concealed by a distant cloud of haze in my brain. I felt a slight pressure forming in my body, a rigid brick wall, every time I tried to break into the compartments of my own mind, every time I tried to reminisce.

I didn't remember and my frustrations grew. He's definitely hiding something from me, misleading me with a change in topic. But he still wanted to see me, even if he knew I'd demand an explanation..

I shook my head, hoping he would explain himself and his atypical behaviour. His face hardened slightly, the back of his hand rubbing his forehead slowly as he stared at me.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't you remember?" He asked again, the softer plea of his voice opposing his serious face.

Reading Armin's books had always made me wonder about the outside world. I had learned of vast dunes of a warm, grainy powder called sand.. Huge glimmering bodies of turquoise waters, which contained all the most beautiful creatures this world had to offer.

"Marley", Eren had said. Marley was nice, until the journey home. It was entirely different from what we were used to; even being undercover in a hospital was exciting in a way. My first time crossing the sea and venturing into the unknown was wonderful, because I experienced it with Eren.

"You asked me what you meant to me.." I said quietly, my hand moving on its own to rub my arm, as I indulged in the memory of the sun's warmth.