Cocktails & Emotions ~ [DR3]

22. Red Flag

"I must have crossed a line, I must have lost my mind," - Strangers, Halsey ft Lauren Jauregui

"I'm standing on a tightrope alone,"- Say Don't Go, Taylor Swift
If any chapter deserved 2 songs it's this one

Daniel kept five steps ahead with Lando by his side for the entire walk home from dinner. The two of them talked animatedly, almost jumping around through the conversation as Max and I hung back allowing the breathing space I needed. Just as on the walk to the restaurant I kept getting distracted by the monegasque horizon, not that Max seemed to mind. He just grinned at my enthusiasm, pointing out landmarks in the distance echoing my 'cool's along the way. The gaps between his guidance gave me the opportunity to ask him about that cat from earlier - he tells has two that cause him varying degrees of torment. Max had just shrugged when I had grinned and explained that I didn't expect it from him. He's full of many unexpected things I suppose.

The surface level conversation was all I could do not to think about the food I'd choked down and the nervous swirling in my stomach. Not that my expression must've hid much; Max had asked if I was okay at least once on the short walk. I could only fake a smile until the conversation moved elsewhere. He left me back at Daniel's side at the entrance of the apartment building, walking away with Lando at his side - the two of them off to find fun elsewhere.

Fun is not a word I would use to describe the air between Daniel and I. Especially not as we made our way up to the apartment (the elevator up six floors felt like a prison). Through the rest of dinner the two of us barely exchanged a word, communicating in short sentences where it seemed really necessary. Still, the heavy feeling sitting between us hadn't stopped me from staring at him through our servings of food. It hadn't stopped the tug in my chest or wringing of my stomach with an unfamiliar sensation. Daniel didn't even seem phased.

Still doesn't seem phased.

So when the door of the fancy apartment clicks shut behind me, and I've slipped off my golden sandals something in me snaps.

Finally.

"Who?" It's the word that's been dancing on my tongue since Daniel declared it at our table two hours ago, choked down with the attention of others on us. With the door closed and privacy granted it finally feels okay to ask the question outloud. 'He's fine.But if I'm being honest I think you could do better.' For one hundred and seventeen minutes the two sentences have been swirling around my head over and over, around and around sending me insane. Maybe it's the jet lag, the exhaustion hitting me after such a long period of travel. Maybe dinner wasn't such a good idea. Maybe I'm losing my mind. I dont really care about any of that right now.

I just want the answer to that one simple question that's been on the edge of my tongue since those 13 words were said outloud.

"What?" Daniel sounds bewildered at the question, and if I wasn't so frustrated I might smile at him. Not that he'd see, I don't think he's even looked at me since saying the sentences that have haunted me.

"If Lucas isn't good enough for me, then who is?" My words leave me more confrontational than I expected, the frustration at this whole situation seeping into the spoken syllables. If Daniel notices he doesn't say anything, much less react.

"I don't know. Haven't put much thought into it." He replies nonchalantly, shrugging off the over-shirt that covered his black tee and hanging it over one of the stools that sit at the breakfast bar. I force my tired eyes closed, pulling in a deep frustrated breath before looking back to him. Daniel has his back to me, making himself busy in the kitchen with something tedious as a distraction from me (I'm certain).