Forever Yours

chapter twenty-one

I wake up a little after noon on a Saturday a few weeks later. Since my dad's newfound relationship, Connie and Joel have been over a few times as Dad and I have been over to their house a few times. They are supposed to be over today for lunch so I should get up and moving.

After freshening up and getting dressed, I make my way downstairs. I hear Joel laughing and I smile to myself. I love that sound.

I walk into the kitchen and see Dad, Connie, and Joel at the table conversing and drinking lemonade. But I don't see any food out yet. They must have been waiting for me.

"Hey everyone," I say to get their attention.

"There she finally is," Dad says with a smile.

Connie and Joel smile and greet me as well. I sit down at the table and pour myself a glass of lemonade. I take a sip as they continue their conversation on the weather.

"So, Willow," Connie says to get my attention, "I actually thought you and I could go get a coffee or something. For some bonding time! We'll leave the boys with their lemonade." She laughs softly.

I think about this for a second. Look, Connie is nice, and I know she means well. She's trying to get to know her boyfriend's daughter. Which is fine and all, but there's just something about her that makes me skeptical. She's my boyfriend's mom and I'm supposed to love her, but I don't know if I do yet. Maybe it's because she's with my dad. I know she doesn't mean to, but I just feel as though she's replacing my mother and I kind of resent her for that.

I should try to give her the benefit of the doubt though. So that's why I say, "Sure!"

"Oh, this is wonderful!" she claps her hands together with joy.

After we've gathered our things, we say goodbye to the boys and head out the door. I wonder how Joel will be with my dad. He's charming, so I'm sure it'll be fine.

We make it to Heart Coffee, per my suggestion. I get my usual and Connie gets the same as me. She tells me she's always wanting to try new coffee creations. We take a seat in Joel's and my favorite spot. I sip my coffee as she talks about her job and Joel and my dad. I don't say much, I just listen. She stops talking for a moment to finish her coffee. I look out the window onto the hustling bustling street outside and wonder how my dad and Joel are doing.

I hear Connie sigh and I look over at her. She's smiling sadly at me. I give her a concerned look. "What?" I question.

"Willow, we don't have to do this," she tells me.

"What do you mean?"

"I feel as though you don't want to be here. Or want me around. And that makes me sad, because I've been trying so hard to get you to like me. You just seem very distant when I'm around."

I look down at my hands to where they are clasped on top of the table, feeling ashamed. "That's not true at all. Look Connie, you're really nice and I know you make my dad really happy. It's just..." I trail off, not really wanting to delve more into it.

She finishes my sentence for me anyway, "You miss your mother."

I look at her now, tears stinging my eyes. I confide in her like I didn't think I would, "Yeah, I do. I really do. It sucks. I miss her so much. Everyday."

A single tear falls from my left eye, and I swipe it away quickly.

I place my hands back on the table and Connie reaches for them with hers. She takes my hands in hers and says, "I'm sure you do. I understand how hard this must be for you. And I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable. I want you to know that I'm truly sorry for your loss. And I know there is no way in hell that I could ever replace your mother. But I also want you to know that I am always here for you, Willow. If you want to talk, vent, or just to simply have a shoulder to cry on. Or if you want me to leave you alone, I can do that too." She holds her hands up jokingly, backing off. I giggle at this.

"Thank you, Connie. Thank you for understanding. I want to get to know you, but just know it might take me some time to warm up to you."

"And that's ok," she tells me with a smile. I smile back at her. We finish our coffees in a nice silence, and I now feel happy to have her in my life.