Forever Yours

chapter four

Present Day

I'm back at school, the day after Joel asked me out and I'm feeling... weird. Everywhere I go, I feel like Joel is there, looking at me. Like he's following me or something. Or maybe I'm just overthinking things and being paranoid. I couldn't stop thinking about Joel all night. Replaying our conversation over in my head.

Jack was an asshole who treated you like shit. How would he know? Unless Jack told him; but he wouldn't have told him everything. Especially not the one thing that breaks my heart every time I think of Jack. The one thing that ripped me apart and changed me. He couldn't possibly know that.

I'm in the library, overthinking as usual. The library is dark and musty. It smells of old lady, courtesy of our ancient librarian. Dad says she's been around since he went to high school here. There's towers and towers of books intricately placed so that the library looks like a maze. I'm in the middle of the maze where a cluster of desks sit. There are a few other students around me, none sitting at my table of course.

It's free period; the library is where I usually am so I can have some peace and quiet while I read. Today, I'm rereading the After series by Anna Todd. Even though I seem like a tough, grungy chick who would seem to only read horror or mystery, my favorite genre is actually romance. And while I do love rock, Harry Styles is my guilty pleasure and a fan fiction of him is always good. I crash my lips against his, catching him totally off guard. I gasp, then giggle at the book. Suddenly, I'm startled by a SMACK of a textbook on the table in front of me. I look up to see a smiling Joel taking a seat across from me. He is following me! I give him an irritated look asking, What the hell are you doing?

"I saw you come in here so I thought I would join you!" He sounds weirdly enthusiastic considering I turned him down yesterday.

"Why?"

"You just looked like you could use some company."

I lean in across the table to get closer to him and gesture for him the do the same, and I whisper, "I thought I made it clear yesterday that I don't date football players." He's still smiling so I add, "That's including you." He just laughs. Laughs like something is really funny when it's obviously not a laughing matter. Laughs as though he's got something really good up his sleeve. He erupts glares and shhhh's from others around us.

I'm confused. "Would you like to share with the class what you think is so damn funny?"

He stops laughing finally and says, "Yes, you did make it clear that you don't date football players, which I find a little ridiculous." He says that jokingly, but I scoff anyway. "BUT..." he pauses for dramatic affect. "You never said you can't be FRIENDS with one."

I tilt my head, lean back in my chair, and cross my arms. I'm stumped for words and give him a dumbfounded look. He smiles in triumph. He knows he stumped me.

I slowly raise my pointer finger at him, and speak quietly, "You got me there."

He sighs with glee, "I knew I would."

Silence sits between us for a good five minutes while I think of what to say next. I finally come up with, "Why would you want to be MY friend? Look around you, everybody hates me. So why is it that YOU feel so differently towards me? And look, I don't know exactly what way you feel towards me, but it obviously isn't hate. So, what's your deal with me?"

"I like you, Willow; I think you're beautiful." He smiles, and it translates deep into my soul.

"You think I'm beautiful, but you don't actually know anything about me, so how could you like me?" I retort. I'm getting irritated now, but I don't know why. Maybe because I don't like it when people just assume they know everything about me. Like everybody does.