Never to Return

The Sight of a million Regrets

Oh  dear Lord in heaven, Alice thought, squinting her eyes and trying to focus against the morning sunlight tickling her skin. What, by the love of God, what did I do?

She was wasted. Feeling around herself, she realised she was tucked in her bed. Good. She was at home. What happened the night before?
Well, she clearly had trouble remembering. Her head hurt like hell, and her mouth was as dry as  the Atacama desert.

When she slowly came back to reality, she looked around, trying to keep her head from spinning too much. She had to get some water. She could've sworn she heard some rustling outside of her bedroom and quickly assumed it must've been the rats who were looking for food. It was well past their breakfast time already. She had to get up.

Alice tried to steady her hand on the nightstand, and then suddenly winced. Oh God, there stood a glass of water what she almost knocked over! Thirsty as she was, she immediately grabbed it to drink it down. It tasted like the best water she's ever had.
When she put the glass back on the nightstand and wiped her lips with her forearm, she suddenly stilled. She didn't wear sleeves? Oh, hold on, she didn't wear anything at all!
Oh no, okay, she at least wore her undergarments.
Alice's face went pale in shocking realisation, and her ice blue eyes went wide. She froze, suddenly feeling very sober.

I never use this particular glass, and I didn't put any water on my nightstand before I left the house!. Now the realisation hit her. She.. oh dear God, she almost slept with a stranger! Oh no no no, that can't be true. No!
Turning her head, she heard the kettle in the kitchen. Wait what? This can't be true. Dear Lord in heaven, was he still there? She was hoping she just dreamt it all, that she didn't just loose her virginity to a random guy, drunk and all that.

Oh dear God, please help me with this, she thought, clutching her hands together and mumbling her morning prayer quickly before she managed to get up on unsteady feet. She needed to know what was going on.
Sneaking around her room, she went to grab a bathrobe she had still hanging around there, and briskly wrapped it around herself. She felt oddly vulnerable in her own flat. She was half naked. He didn't... did he?
She didn't feel any different, but the thought of him possibly touching her inappropriately while she was passed out made her shiver with anxiety.

Alice scurried out of her bedroom and slowly made her way to the kitchen. The kettle was indeed steaming, but there was no one there. Strange, kettles don't turn themselves on out of nowhere, do they?
She stood there, listening intently. She did hear something, but couldn't make out what it was just yet. Her head hurt immensely and her ears rung, and it took everything in her willpower to focus on the odd sound.
Should she take a knife with her? Nonsense.
...should she?

But before she could think any further, her feet tentatively walked her towards the little room that her rats occupied. Was he in there? No, that couldn't be the case.

Turning around the corner, she realised that the door was indeed open. And she could see sunlight streaming out the room. She was sure she closed the curtains yesterday before she left, like she always did. What?
Tiptoeing towards the doorframe, she quietly turned her head to look into the room. What she saw there almost made her gasp in disbelief, and she quickly covered her mouth with her hand to stifle it.

There he was, turned away from her and clad only in his pants and nothing else. His back fully bared and his salt and peppery hair all tousled. Alice's eyes widened. That was the man she almost slept with? She decided to watch him for a while. He definitely had his fun with her rats.

"Well, there you go now, eh? You like that, yes?", she heard him giggle, completely  unaware of her presence. He was enraptured by the rodents. Alice couldn't believe her own eyes. What in the great heavens was this situation? She wanted to pinch herself, because at this point, it must've been a dream. A fever dream, to be precise.