Bittersweet - aidan g. imagines

LOVE?

- notes!!

FIVE HARGREEVES | ( ^ ) ANGST

MALE READER!

"Are you truly still in love with me?" My voice was scarce, It was so quiet I could hardly hear myself,

My throat burned, it ached, tears welled in my eyes, the question burned. I felt pathetic, like an idiot, I swallowed dryly, clasping my hands together.

"What are you saying? Of course, I'm still in love with you. I love you y/n I truly do."

Somehow, even with such an affectionate display of words, it feels like they're empty,

They feel empty.

I could never understand why my soul never felt fulfilled, I wish it was like the start, I wish he'd fall in love with me all over again.

"But do you mean it? Do you truly mean it Five?" I wanted to bawl, There had already been many nights already where I'd cry.

In some way, I'd disregard it, because something he'd say or do would remind me that he truly does love me, but then something else would happen, like his distance, or the sound of his tone when he spoke to me, like his love wasn't there, like he was empty.

It's sickening.

I love you but do you love me?

You say you do, but, do you really? I can't feel it any longer, Have I lost you? Have you grown tired and sick of me? Have you?

Am I making you feel sick?

"Yes of course I mean it. I truly love you, what can I do to make you believe that?"

Believing.

How could I?

How can I, when I've been wronged my entire life, It aches, burns, It feels as if I'm being set on fire, the wind blowing me stronger, my heart pulsating in utmost despair.

You say it, but why can I not feel it?

Why can't I accept the love you give me?

Why can't I?

"I don't— I don't know why I'm like this."

It feels like I need to have him with me every waking moment. Every day it feels like we grow further, every day is a reminder of how different we are.

We bonded, but do we have much to bond over now?

Have I missed the warnings? The signs?

Do we belong?

I want us to. So desperately want us to.

"I love you y/n. I truly do, You're everything to me, You are my joy, my purpose—"

"I miss you."

"But I'm right here, I'm here with you, I always have been, I always will be."

"But what if one day you grow sick of my pain? What if one day you grow sick of my trauma, what if one day you grow sick of my incapability to love myself as much as I love you."