This is an update that my loyal readers have had to wait a long time for. Sorry guys. 🚶
I actually had to read the whole thing again to remember what the fuck was happening but now I am even more confused.
You tried to run, sweat was beating off you face. This was the first time in ages you had to do exercise. Although it was life or death. The women chased you and they were non stop. Suddenly, one of the hooded figures beeps their car keys and a USS Zumwalt (DDG 1000) warship comes crashing through the Tesco walls. They had a fucking warship. You don't have a tin of beans to your name. As the women assemble onto the boat, and the cannons are aimed at you, your entire shitty life flashes before your eyes. How you grew up in a jungle after a jaguar ate your parents, how you lived a life of prostitution to make money and support yourself into adulthood, when you first met the love of your life and how she broke your heart due to an affair. You mind is scrambled and in a desperate attempt to do something, anything to give yourself more time. Searching for answers. Anything to see your loves serene smile once again. Anything at all.
The cannon goes off. tick, tick BOOM
The sound rattles in your ears and the aftermath leaves smoke, and fire sparks around the Tesco. But you are alive? You are mangled on the floor. But you are still alive. You just tangoed with the grim reaper himself but somehow you survived. The cannon ball didn't go through the cannon and just got stuck blowing the war ship to kingdom come. It's safe to assume TWICE died in the aftermath. Hopefully at least. Dumbass.
Your breath was heavy and it caught in your throat, it was hard to comprehend what had just happened, what happened to the girls was unsure. But hoping they had died was a real thought that consumed your mind as you walked back home empty handed. Perhaps you have gotten rid of an obstacle that you thought you would never pass. Your life was a constant series of events where you were always the underdog, and you were sick of it. You were always the ugly, sad, emo, depressed and you didn't have two braincells you could rub together.
It was time to become the sigma.
