American Beauty/American Psycho (trigger warning)//frerard & petekey//

This chapter is really different from the other ones jusT

Dear Pete,
Don't come looking for me. I love you so much. So so much. You're the best thing that's happened to me. These three years have been the best. But I've realized something. I'm so sad. I'm never gonna stop being sad. I've been sad my entire life. It's not ever gonna stop. I don't think I can handle being sad forever. I'm sorry for doing this to you. Just promise me something, okay? Remember me. Move on, please, just don't forget about me.
Dear Gerard,
I'm so sorry. fuck, I'm so sorry. I love you. But you don't need me anymore, you have Frank. Keep your head up. Stay gay, all the way. Right? That's our thing. I'm sorry. I love you. You have Frank now. Remember me, and remember Frank, and remember Pete. Remember us all. Remember the good times. I love you.
Dear Frank,
Look after him. He's got a dark past. He's got a dark mind. He has a lot of problems. Just more to love, right? Don't mess up. Don't hurt him. I'll haunt your ass.

Dear Killjoys,
I'm here. My ghost is with you. Signing out On Route Guano, with my mask on, Kobra Kid.

Gerard couldn't stop reading his note.
Pete couldn't stop reading his note.
Frank couldn't stop reading his note.
Lyn-Z couldn't stop crying.
Lexi hasn't showed her face since she heard the news.
Brendon can't stop throwing up.
Ryan and Spencer are taking care of him.
Ray broke half the things in his room.
Patrick is the only one Pete will talk to.
Joe and Andy are pretending to be sane.
Jimmy burned the couch and ripped up the Caitlyn Jenner poster.
Jimmy declared the spot is off-limits to anyone.
Tom and Mark listened this time.
Jimmy doesn't want anyone calling him by his Killjoy name anymore.
Jimmy said they should all grow up and stop playing around. "Killjoys. Fucking pathetic." We're his exact words.
Pete's journal entries were scaring Pete.
We're all losing our minds. Or what was left of them. No one really hangs out anymore. At least not all together, all at once. I miss them. I miss Mikey. I miss smiling. I miss being happy. I miss Mikey's glasses, and his beanies, and his laugh, and I miss waking with him in my arms, and I miss him saying "I love you" And I miss saying it back, and I miss calling him Mikeyway or mikeygay, I miss seeing Gerard flick the hair out of Mikey's eyes, and them laughing. I thought I was fucked before, but I didn't know, if I could have him back, what I'd do to have him back, I need him, I need to be with him. I've considered killing myself to be with him, but I don't know if I believe in the afterlife, and even then, I wouldn't just find him. He wouldn't just be there. I'd probably have to search for him, and that'd take a while. But it'd be worth it. I need to see him. I'm doing it. I'll fucking hang myself. I'll make it poetic. I'll make everyone fucking insane because they won't know what my poems mean. They don't know me. Mikey knew me. The only living person that knows me is Patrick. I wanna die so badly. I never thought I'd wanna die so badly. But I do.
Pete Wentz. Who knows the date? Who keeps track? Whatever, it's the summer of fucking kill me.

"I made you guys some coffee." Linda said, walking in with their mugs. "Thank you."Gerard said, staring into his coffee. "I put your guys' favorite creamers so don't worry. Caramel for Frank and coconut for Gerard." Linda said, chuckling a little. No response. She say down beside Gerard, wrapping her arms around him. "I love you, Gerard. You know I love you. And I'm gonna go all super mom on you, but we all love you. We are all here. Okay. I'm gonna leave before I go too super mom." And with that, she stood up and left.
Gerard started crying again.

I wrote a song about him. Patrick agreed to record it for me.
It's all a game of this or that, now versus then
better off against worse for wear
And you're someone who knows someone who knows someone I once knew
And I just want to be a part of this

The road outside my house is paved with good intentions
Hired a construction crew, 'cause it's hell on the engine
You are the dreamer and we are the dream.
I could write it better than you ever felt it.

So hum hallelujah,
Just off the key of reason
I thought I loved you
It was just how you looked in the light.
A teenage vow in a parking lot
"Till tonight do us part"
I sing the blues and swallow them too

My words are my faith to hell with our good name.
A remix of your guts-your insides X-rayed
And one day we'll get nostalgic for disaster
we're a bull, your ears are just a china shop

I love you in the same way, there's a chapel in a hospital
One foot in your bedroom and one foot out the door
Sometimes we take chances, sometimes we take pills.
I could write it better than you ever felt it.

So hum hallelujah,
Just off the key of reason
I thought I loved you
It was just how you looked in the light.
A teenage vow in a parking lot
"Till tonight do us part"
I sing the blues and swallow them too
A teenage vow in a parking lot
"Till tonight do us part"
I sing the blues and swallow them too

So hum hallelujah,
Just off the key of reason
I thought I loved you
It was just how you looked in the light.
A teenage vow in a parking lot
"Till tonight do us part"
Love in a parking lot
"Till tonight do us part"
A teenage vow in a parking lot
"Till tonight do us part"
I sing the blues and swallow them too

A teenage vow in a parking lot. We made a promise to each other in a gas station parking lot somewhere in upstate New York.
We promised that no matter what, we'd never leave each other. And he broke that promise. Do you like the little "sometimes we take chances, sometimes we take pills" part? That's because one:You won't believe how many fucking pills and drugs I've been doing and two: Mikey OD'd on pills! Fuck. I'm so fucked.
Pete Wentz. DOA. (Dead On Arrival if you don't know what DOA stands for, fucker. Whoever's reading this, fuck off. It's my memoir.) The summer of fucking kill me.

"He left me! He! Left! Me!" And with every scream, Pete threw something, anything in his reach. "Pete, shh, it's okay-" Patrick was trying. He wasn't giving up on Pete. "FUCK!" Pete screamed, as he threw a framed picture of him and Mikey, watching as it shattered. "FUCKING FUCK!" Pete yelled, as loud as he could, collapsing to the floor and letting out silent, choppy, sobs. Patrick was crying too. "Pete, please, listen-" "Why did he do it? I just wanna know why. Why would he leave me?" And after that, after letting the question linger in the air, neither of them said anything for the rest of the night.
Patrick slept on the couch. Pete slept in his and Mikey's bed, still secretly hoping that he would be there when Pete woke.
He dreamt of Mikey.
Again.

Okay sorry that this chapter is so weird and oh my god I want to cry this chapter was so painful I'm so sorry don't kill me okay like Pete nO BABY GOD I HATE MYSELF. Also did anyone catch that PotatoYoghurt reference?? You know? The Summer Of Fucking Kill Me is all you need to know about petekey go read it pls
Okay
Yeah
Bye
Xoxo Asia (Sad McSadster)