"It happened again." ~ Stan x Kyle (Style)

Touchy subjects.

(TRIGGER WARNING)

I let Kyle clean up, even if I felt bad he's not one to take no for an answer. I could honestly feel myself slip right back to square one, Kyle helped me get out of whatever state I was even in, it usually gets bad when I stop sleeping or at-least that's when I know it's starting to get bad.
I don't think Kyle would even notice when I was getting bad, or anyone in that case, it's not something that has to be shared and it's not a "fake a smile" situation I could just make it very unnoticeable which is very helpful. The only reason Kyle even noticed I was going through it was when I forgot he was coming over once and my dad let him in and he walked right in on me cutting myself, I don't like talking about that night it was quite brutal, I just remember the way Kyle looked at me as if he didn't know who I was. I've got 4 purple scars on the upper of my arm from accidentally cutting to deep, they're ugly but I do not regret it.
I took my pipe from my windowsill and filled it up with new weed, I would've had joints but I'm not the biggest fan of joints at all, pipes and bongs makes you stoned quicker and it also tastes less like shit.
The more Kyle cleaned up the area the worse he found, he was listing everything he found that was slightly fucked.
"Old blood stained razor, blood stained tissue, Stan why is everything covered in blood?"
I blew out the smoke from my mouth then answered
"Take a guess" Kyle sighed and just went back to what he was doing
Which brings me back the point of when he walked in on me doing it, I don't wanna remember the night but it's stuck on repeating my head.
Blood covered my whole right arm dripping onto the bed covers, high as fuck and then Kyle walked in, he saw everything. Including my depression state room, you couldn't even see the floor back then it was that bad. And in the most embarrassing way he was the one that cleaned up my arm for therefore he saw every slit, we didn't speak to each other after that we just sat in silence in my room i think we were both shaken up.

Kyle knows when I'm getting bad and always tries to keep me busy and occupied so I didn't do anything that included me hurting myself or the people around me and he's always quick to cleaning up after me because he knows I could live my whole life in filth, and it's almost like I paid him to keep my secrets safe because nobody else knew about what was going on my life but that's good I don't think my problems should be any conversation starter for anyone.
I looked down at Kyle who was almost done cleaning a section of the room, I had already asked him to stop but he knows not to listen to that. I decided to just put new weed in my pipe and go at it but Kyle did eventually speak up
"How do you end up with so many bloody tissues?"
I looked down at my arm, it was all healed scars. I only ever wore a T-Shirts around Kyle since he found out about it
"They're all old ones, even you know it."
Kyle had forced me to stop a while ago.
"I found printed out pictures of you when you had bleached hair. They're all of you when you used to go out and party every night."
He handed me them as I blew out the smoke from my mouth, I shifted through the photos and let out a deep breath. There was so many of me with random people but one stuck out like sore thumb, it was one of me kissing Kyle, fuck, how did I not notice these in my room?? Then again you could barely see the floor in my room there was probably more than one of these somewhere in here. The photo looked euphoric, everyone in the background was blurred and the photo had a blue tint to it and we were right in the middle, my hands were slumped around his shoulder and the same went for his. His face was hidden behind mine and my hair was covering my face,
"Kyle-"
He looked up at me from whatever he was doing and I showed the photo to him.
"Who took that photo?" I asked
"I think it was Kenny, it's a nice picture" and just like that, he turned back to cleaning.
I looked at the picture and got a bit of tape so I could stick it up on the wall.
I regret getting rid of the bleached hair, I really liked it but I knew I should've not kept it but a part of me wished I still had it. Kyle says I should get it again, but he says it only looked good when I had my roots grown out, I do agree with him but my hair got so damaged from it that I don't think I'd be able to do it for a while especially since Kyle actually had to help me get of it and go back to black because of how bad my roots were coming through.
But hey maybe I'll go back to that junkie lifestyle and end up with bleached hair again?

Bit of a personal chapter, enjoy though :3