Theres an alien in my f#king bed... ☆~CREEK~☆

Chapter 34: Uninvited

It was silent for a second before I got the courage to respond. I knew Tweek would start freaking out if I was quiet any longer.

"Twee-"

*𝙍𝙄𝙉𝙉𝙉𝙂𝙂𝙂𝙂𝙂*

"GYAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

"Tweek its just the bell! Calm down! Jesus..."

It went quiet again. Tweek tugged on his shirt a bit. He wasnt facing me, so obviously hes talking about the rumor which he heard of and hes gonna tell everyone what REALLY happened and-

"Um... I heard theres gonna be a.... Par-tee...? Whats a part-ee and why doesnt anyone want you to know about it?"

Im stunned. I stay there flabbergasted for a few seconds. A faint "Ngh" from Tweek breaks me out of it.

"I- Y-you dont know about the rumor?!"

Tweek blinks. "Whats a rumor..? Oh ꉣꌚꀗꂦ i-is it a gun?!"

Ive never been so relieved in my life...

"N-no um- Dont worry about it its nothing. What were you saying about the party?"

"Oh uh- I dont know what it is. Is it bad?"

"Right. Ill tell you dont worry." Tweek finally fully faces me. "A party is just like a... A celebration! Its fun."

His eyes light up and im sure if he was in his regular form, his tail would be wagging like a dogs. "Is there like a big ꉣ꒒ꊿꌅ where everyone worships the stars??"

"...No."

His face drops. "So whats so fun about it?"

"Well theres music, food, drinks and dancing. Everyones laughing and having a good time. Im not really one for parties but if I was desperately wanted there i'd-....."

"...Well I dont know why you stopped talking there but I guess parties sound a little fun. It does sound like a lot of pressure though... Craig is the music lou-"

"Tweek what did you mean when you said no one wanted me to know about said party?" Im a really cool guy! Everyone likes me so why wouldnt anyone want me at the party? I wasnt gonna go anyway because its a stupid party and I have better things to worry about like Stripe and Red Racer and buying more NASA sweaters but- IM IMPORTANT TOO RIGHT?? "Tweek tell me." I grab his shoulders and look him directly in his eyes that would look much better if they were their natural color and not plain blue.

I really need to stop doing that.

"Agh! W-well um- Human baby said shes throwing a party and that you cant know about it! When I was going to ask why she got a call on her moe-bile phone!"

After that he started rambling about how old human technically is and how badly we name things but I couldnt care less. Im more focused on the fact that bebe decided I wasnt gonna be invited to her party.

"Lets go." I grab Tweeks hand and drag him out of the bathroom with me.

"Aghhhh! W-wait wait wait WAAAIIIIIIIIIIT"

--☆--

I bust in the door to my classroom and before Mrs. Garrison can say anything I ask the question ive been waiting to ask since I left the bathroom.

"WHY WASNT I INVITED TO THE PARTY."

It goes quiet and everyone, even Mrs. Garrison, looks at Tweek like he just ruined everything. As if.

Tweek squeaks and I step in front of him. "Dont look at him like that! He did good telling me! Why do you guys all of a sudden hate me? Im cool and rad..."

Bebe sighs. "Craig... No youre not. And no one says rad anymore." I admit.. Im hurt. But to be honest I couldnt care less about what a bunch of lowlifes have to say about- "Yeah youre a little dorky but thats not why-"

"I AM NOT DORKY" I feel my fists balling up. I may be a lot of things but dorky is not one of them. "If thats why you wont invite me to the party then fuck you and you and you and you and you an-"

"Shhhh... shut up." Bebe pushes my middle fingers down.

Im silent for a second before I snap out of it and scowl. "Hey you cant just-"

"Shhhhhut up."

"...Bebe I said it before ill say it again, I am not afraid to fight a gir-"

"Shhhh... Shhhut it Shut the fuck up shhhhhh"

My eye twitches and before I can say anything Kenny stands up. "We didnt want you to know about the party- Not because youre a little dorky virgin, but because you cant hold your alcohol."

I blink. "I can too. And even if I couldnt that shouldnt even be a problem."

"Hey whats a alcohol?"

Jimmy sighs. "C-C-C-Craig... Youre kind of a crazy drunk."

I blink again. "Isnt everyone? Look I just-"

"Craig!" Wendy jumps out of her seat. "He meant crazy as in batshit insane!! After a single shot-"

"Half a shot!"

"Right, thanks Cartman. After half a shot youre practically bouncing off the walls!"

Kenny shakes his head. "He did that once..."

Everyone nods, even Mr. Garrison. I feel myself panic. "Th-thats not true! Even if it was thatd be really embarrassing and I dont do anything embarassing."

"Guys I dont know what a alcohol is... Is it bad?"

Cartman stands up and walks toward me. "When youre sober, sure. But NOT... When youre drunk." He takes out his phone and taps it for a few seconds. "Ive been keeping track of what you do during parties. Shall I show you?"

I gulp and nod slowly. It cant be that bad. Yeah everyones faces show second hand embarrassment but thats fine right?

"Whats a alcohol-"

__

Things Craig has done/said while drunk:
-
1. "IM GONNA HAVE SEX WITH EVERY MAN HERE"

-
2. *Caressing Stans head* "When did you get so big Stripe?"

"𝙲𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚐 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚎 𝚖𝚎?"

-
3. "EVERYONE IM GONNA JUMP OFF THE ROOF!!"
(He jumped. He broke bones.)

-
4. *Getting dragged away by the police* "Yeah I killed that man.... He said some gay shit I was kinda into..."

-
5. "Im goin to peru! Fuck you guys im gonna have the time of my-"
*drives backwards into a person then a stop sign*

-
6. "I dont like pants! Im taking these off!"

"𝙽𝙾 𝙲𝚁𝙰𝙸𝙶! 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚂𝙰𝙸𝙳 𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙻𝙸𝙴𝚁 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚆𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙽𝚃 𝚆𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙱𝙾-"

_____

"OKAY! OKAY STOP I GET IT IM EMBARRASSING!" I am currently curled up in a ball. Ill never drink alcohol again.

Cartman pats my shoulder. "Dont worry Craig. I admit, Bebes kinda an asshole for inviting me over you."

Bebe flinches and walks over. "I just didnt want Craig to do any weird shit at my party! But.... Since he already knows I guess he can come..."

I sigh. "Whats the point? Ill just be a dissapointment again... Im worse than Cartman and them..."

Kenny comes over to me. "Dont worry man... Maybe youll get laid this ti-"

"I DONT KNOW WHAT A ALCOHOL IS"